Yes! Sushi is so expensive! Why would you pay for that when he pays for the movie tickets? Let him be the pursuer, let him court you. Remember? Your changing things up here this time. He invited you and did the asking right?
I know, I know. What happened was we were telling each other our Super Bowl pool numbers and I said, if I win, I’ll treat, if you win, you’ll treat, just having some fun.
I won. Twice! But this sushi isn’t expensive. We have a place in our tiny town that is yelp famous and the top 100 places to eat on the US. Food is great and their specials are even greater! But I know that’s not the point. Shouldn’t have made the bet. I’m learning. If he asks me out for this weekend ( I’ll let him take the lead on that too, he can most certainly pay.
Please don’t let me read in newcomers anymore. It’s a glimpse into the dating pool and it’s messing with my head big time. Men who come right out of toxic codependent relationships and days later have a new “partner”? And other guys cheer this on?
Please don’t let me read in newcomers anymore. It’s a glimpse into the dating pool and it’s messing with my head big time. Men who come right out of toxic codependent relationships and days later have a new “partner”? And other guys cheer this on?
I think I need to stay outta there. It scares me.
You know I don’t cheer it on and try to prevent it.
I think that the fear of being un-partnered is a big factor for most people. I strongly suspect that the OM in my own case was drawn to my now ex after the pain of his wife's death and the related void.
But as we here on this thread would undoubtedly agree - "fixing yourself" by using another person as a band-aid isn't healthy. But it is done all the time. I recall my own sisters constantly needing to have "a man" in their lives when younger - and in some cases the choices that they made were certainly eye-rollingly bad.
From what I understand men are even worse - finding themselves incapable of coping with the "empty space" they have. I know that I certainly felt that emptiness for a long while.
I think that as we age that it gets worse for me and easier for women to be comfortable on their own.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Rebound relationships are usually not good for either person involved but they happen all the time. Everyone knows rebounds are bad unless they are involved in one It is also unfair to just judge just one person. A relationship takes two people so the 'new partner' is responsible too.
Every situation is unique though. Some people start relationships with others while still 'happily' married, some when the marriage starts to go downhill, some immediately when the marriage ends and others wait a long time after the end. It is hard to say how much a person has detached from their previous relationship just based on the length of time. As Andrew said, the ability to GAL without needing a romantic partner often plays a big part.
Hope you have a fun time on your date tonight, G. Just relax and go with the flow. While I agree with everyone who said you shouldn't be buying dinner and he should be treating you, particularly in the beginning, I do admire you for putting it out there that you would treat him if you won and now you are following through with what you said. But, moving forward, don't do that! Make him ask and treat if there is a date 3. And, make him plan it while you are at it to get a feel for how he handles things.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
It is also unfair to just judge just one person. A relationship takes two people so the 'new partner' is responsible too.