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Pax_luv Offline OP
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Hiya friends!
Guess what!?! Im officially-officially-officially divorced as of July 2! Never been happier about it.
Date of marriage: 7/2010, separation 6/2015, and divorced 7/2021.

Happy tears are pouring out of my eyeballs right now as I type this. That whole process was the most brutal experience of my life thus far and I know Im going to be working through some things for years, Im sure. Having 6ish years of sustained emotional and financial torture and hyper vigilance doesnt just disappear over night but Im feeling lighter these days and will continue to work through the triggers as they come. Sigh.

As for a life update, the process for freezing my eggs begins tomorrow with the initial labs. Im terrified for the potential outcome and also hopeful that this might give me a fair chance at having a biological child.

The thought of forking out thousands and thousands of dollars for this process and procedure scares the living daylights out of me. I just landed on my feet and no longer live paycheck to paycheck... so Im pretty nervous. Its sickening actually. My insurance covers zero so its all out of pocket. And of course theres no guarantee that it will actually work when the time comes. This is a huge gamble but I really want to have a baby one day and Ive lost so many years of fertility.

Since the start of this whole divorce process I watched my dream of having 3 kids fade to 2, and now Im just praying for one. My ex and I separated when I was 31 and now Im about to be 38. Time is not on my side.

That said, Im not at all opposed to adoption and know that I will have children one day even if not biologically. I know Ill be a good mom.

If all goes well in the next few weeks, Ill share the process on how this all came about... it is quite the story! Haha.

Other than that, things are a-ok. I feel like Im finally living my life again. Im ready to take some risks in my career and am looking for some advancement opportunities. I have a super good man in my life and I like him a lot. My friends are obsessed with him and my family really likes him too. (Far cry from the ex). I have really great and supportive friends and the family is all healthy and doing ok. Things are good in my little bubble. Im very grateful.


Me- 30's H- 40's
T-10 M-5
I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
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Congratulations Pax!!! So darn happy for you!!! Its been a long and difficult road, I know. Feel free to join us over on Surviving Divorce. Were a small but dedicated group. laugh

Re: freezing your eggs and becoming a parent. You never know what is around the corner. When I was 37, I was single and thinking I would never get the chance. But then I met XH and gave birth to twins two months before my 40th birthday. It was a perfect pregnancy with no complications whatsoever. Dont lose hope. It could happen before you know it.

(((HUGS)))


Me 53
H 48
B/G Twins 13
SD 21
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

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Pax,

I'm thrilled for you. You deserve every moment of happiness. I'm sure that regardless of the challenges you face from here they will pale in the face of what you have survived. I admire your bravery and your pursuit of what you want and am glad you have someone in your life that has given you a different relationship perspective.

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Pax - so happy for you! Its been a long time coming. Hard as it all was, you can now build the beautiful life you deserve.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Darling Pax, FINALLY!!!!! I'm so happy for you. Yes, do not discount the very real PTSD that may come up. Knowing you, these episodes will be faced head on and you will come shining through. Remember love, nothing can be as bad as what you've already faced.

Keep us posted on your future adventures! xoxoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

You have no idea what people are going thru in their personal lives. Be nice. It's that simple.
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Pax_luv Offline OP
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Why hello there. This thread should be closing soon and I’m not sure if I’ll start another in the surviving group or just wrap this up there. I’m coming up on my 6 year anniversary on this site so we shall see what shakes out!!

The last couple of weeks have been hard. The Ivf egg cycle didn’t turn out as hoped so I’ll be trying again in a few days. All the extra hormones and side effects have made for a really good time (rolls eyes).

I’m definitely feeling restless and want to change things up in a big way. All these articles coming out on “pandemic flux syndrome” and “languishing” is definitely where I’m at right now. The urge to flip my life around is strong. I have a pretty good job but it’s just too much. I’m in healthcare... and to be honest healthcare s*cks right now. It’s so bad. I’ve dedicated almost 20 years to this industry and I think it’s time for a change. I’ve been actively putting my resume out there.

I’ve also been contemplating going back to school. There’s 3, 3 year paths that I’m considering. I’ve spoken with advisors, have sample schedules and everything. I just need to nail down what I’d like to do for my second career. My current job is piloting an external life coaching program so I’ve just leaned in to see if I can be an end user. I just don’t know the path I want to take.. maybe a coach will help me find clarity just like my DB coach did in the beginning of this journey. I have a vision of what my life would be like in any of those three paths and I think about it often. I just know where I’m at right now is not where I want to be anymore. On paper my job is pretty cool...It’s hard to give it up as I’ve never been a grass is greener type of person..... but now I really think the grass is greener elsewhere.

That’s about it. Things are going ok otherwise. Been doing a long distance thing with a man friend which actually works out well since I relish my independence. Not to mention, he’s just an all around good human and the family digs him too. I even think my dog might like him more than me (rolls eyes again). smile

The parents have had some health things pop up which is just a reminder that life is soooo darn short and the most important things are spending time with those who are important to you and doing things that spark joy.

Also since this is still an MLC thread, I can share that I feel free of my ex. Took a long time and definitely have some ptsd still and get those triggers..... but I’m free!!!

All my best to you dbers. Until next time.


Me- 30's H- 40's
T-10 M-5
I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
Joined: Jun 2015
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{{{{{pax}}}}}

come on over to the surviving side. if you don't like it you can split. no harm no foul. I'd miss ya, tho ...
you've been through so much. take some time to decompress. best of luck with the next IVF egg cycle! xoxoxoxo mwah

Last edited by job; 10/05/21 12:51 PM. Reason: edited a word for bttrfly

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

You have no idea what people are going thru in their personal lives. Be nice. It's that simple.
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2022…. The year of pax. I can see it. Things are looking up for me as well. So maybe the year of pinn as well. The year of pinn and pax… what a combo!! We have come a long long way in 6+ years!

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