Well - didn't want to get bumped back to Page 2 so time for another update...
W was in an extremely lousy mood Tuesday evening due to work and reports that her mom in the nursing home was not eating. So I gave her a VERY wide berth when she came home. She didn't want to have any dinner or any beer or wine so I just let her basically vege out and watch the rest of "Mouse Hunt" with S4.
Wednesday morning went quite a bit better - W did thank me for fixing her some pasta for her to take in to work. I did ask her if I could use her checkbook to pay a couple of bills and noticed that she hadn't recorded the check amount for one she wrote to a coworker for an upcoming concert. So I called up the bank's number so that I could get the amount - and found that she forgot to enter a couple of debit transactions as well. I swear - sometimes I really wonder about her... She worked until the kids' bedtime and even brought work home with her so she was up until around midnight. After she came upstairs, our dog was making noises like she needed to go outside. W had just let her outside to squirt but our dog persisted so I got up and took her outside. Naturally, she had more to do and then we all slept peacefully through the night.
Today W has an important all-day meeting and she is going to the nursing home to visit her mom. My week has been rather quiet but next week is going to be very busy with the DB weekend coming up. I really think the time away is going to do me some good. It could also harden W's attitude towards me even more (likely) or it could force her to do some serious reevaluation of her contribution to our sitch (unlikely but necessary).
You get up early............I am sure your w is thinking about your trip......it might be what she needs..you dedicate alot of time to your family and w knows you are always there..kinda like most r in reverse...
Quote: you dedicate alot of time to your family and w knows you are always there..kinda like most r in reverse...
C mentioned something like this to me this morning at my session.
Anyway - the weekend was very busy. W had decided on Friday night to come home early since she was tired and knew that she needed to work a few hours during the weekend. I encouraged her to come home at a normal time (like 8 PM is normal! ) so that she could get a good night's sleep.
We took our dog to a charity dog wash on Saturday - got the pup clean and gave her a chance to socalize with other dogs and people. She really did well! We also spent some time "snooping" at houses being built - something S had been eager to do for weeks. Not much open but we did go out to a good dinner afterwards.
On Sunday W decided not to go into work so we went to the planetarium to watch a film concerning DNA and celebrating the 50th anniversary of its discovery. Instead of exercising the dog, we walked over to Starbucks for coffee and treats for the kids. Mom #1 called W - wanted to know if W and D wanted to do something. We had seen a sign on campus for a puppet performance being put on by a very socially aware (meaning ultraliberal) group - W suggested that we all go to watch. Mom #1 wanted our D to have some play time with her D so we met up with them and handed our D off. On the way back home - W, S and I "snooped" around a couple of townhomes being built. The first one we saw was extremely nice - W loved the floor plan, the various upgrades (including an elevator) and the location. So when we got home, W went online to get a price estimate. It was about $950K. No wonder W liked it so much! Somehow, I don't think that we'll be moving there anything in this or any other lifetime!
While we were walking around, W put in a lot of "we" references and talking a lot about "our future." I took it all in - validated the heck out of her. She really didn't want any heavy talk so I didn't push.
Later in the evening we met up with Mom #1, her D and our D for the puppet theater and then some coffee afterwards. After we parked our car near the coffeeshop, D discovered in horror that she had left her coin purse with about $15 in it behind at the outdoor theater. D went into full "play acting" mode which W did not appreciate in the least. S was also acting up some so W was in a doubly foul mood. I did my best to stay calm and keep some semblance of order. After we got back to our car, D did another search of her contents and found the coin purse that she thought she had lost. We were relieved that she had found it but W was still ticked off at D for copping an attitude.
Today has been busy for me - C session followed by teeth cleaning at the dentist followed by grocery shopping. C session went OK - I sometimes wonder if I am detaching from our sitch as much as I think I am. I need to think on that some more...
Oh - one other thing: Last Friday I talked to another ham radio operator who was on board the Queen Mary - which is at the Long Beach, CA harbor. Had a really good conversation with the guy.
Things sound steady -- more ups than downs -- and little disagreements are getting resolved. It was nice your W spending Sunday time with you instead of working.
You're a rock of steadiness -- hope you are feeling rewarded. Do you think C is helpful?
How's the dog doing?
I'm getting into the job search now -- wish us both luck.
Oh crap - something that I just thought of after W pulled away with S this morning...
As you know, I'm supposed to be going away this Friday morning for the DB get together in Virginia Beach. W mentioned something last evening about having a work line for her project of this Friday - and she's only got a portion of it done.
I was planning on leaving the house sometime mid morning. W would need to be here around 4 in the afternoon in order to meet D who comes home on the bus. I know for a fact that W will not be able to finish her deliverable by then even if she decides to work very late tonight and Thursday.
Now W agreed to let me go on this weekend several weeks ago but I'm sure that she has forgotten about it - a very annoying trait of hers. I could either be a real hard nose about it (which would be a 180 for me) and decide to keep to my plans of leaving Friday morning. Or I can compromise with W and say that I am willing to leave early on Saturday morning thereby allowing her the time to complete her deliverable - at least as complete as possible.
Although sticking to my guns would be a strong 180 for me, it would likely be very detrimental in the long run for our R. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
Quote: Although sticking to my guns would be a strong 180 for me, it would likely be very detrimental in the long run for our R. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
you've made life easy for her and revolved everything you do around her schedule for so long you deserve this vaca and shouldn't have to cut it short just because of her lack of attention to your life.
it's wednesday...remind her tonight about your trip and when you will be leaving...if she has a conflict with her schedule she can easily find one of her little friends that she always makes time for to meet dd at the bus.
sorry bob...your w needs a wake up call...if your pulling a 180 and standing firm with your plans becomes detrimental to the r the only way I can see it going is positive...she will either realize that bob's life means something too..or it doesn't ant therefore w's life shouldn't mean so much to you.
I agree with LL....I can't believe that she has forgetten your trip..you deserve the time away..don't give in to her on this one...I don't see how it could be detrimental to the r.. Be bold Bob!!!!!
it seems to me bob that your w is just as inconsiderate of your time as my h is of mine...look at me here I sit dressed and ready to go visit some friends..h told me worst case scenario he'd be home by 7...now he calls and says he SHOULD be home by 7:15 and that it would be really helpful to him if dd was already set and in bed since he has to deal with son4 all this not without checking what's for dinner.
what's for dinner h??? try taking a bite of my a$$ you selfish sob!!!
I wonder what's the db teqhnique supposed to be for a waw in the making who's h had an a, left her, then returned and is still acting in the same manner that lead her to thoughts of being a waw in the first place?????
ugh!!
enjoy your trip bob! don't let us find out you caved into her!
She worked until the kids' bedtime and even brought work home with her so she was up until around midnight. After she came upstairs, our dog was making noises like she needed to go outside. W had just let her outside to squirt but our dog persisted so I got up and took her outside. Naturally, she had more to do 
and then we all slept peacefully through the night. 
) so that she could get a good night's sleep.
We also spent some time "snooping" at houses being built - something S had been eager to do for weeks. Not much open but we did go out to a good dinner afterwards.
I did my best to stay calm and keep some semblance of order. 
After we got back to our car, D did another search of her contents and found the coin purse that she thought she had lost. We were relieved that she had found it but W was still ticked off at D for copping an attitude. 