I am sorry to read what has happened. I'm glad to read that she saw a doctor and spoke to the police. Is there any way that you can go look at the car and see just how much damage was done?
She called you because she knows that she can trust you....but at some point, she is going to need to tell her family about the accident if they should ask about the car. I hope and pray that this is a wake up call for her and she gets all of the help she needs.
Hope you and the kids are doing okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for the support, it feels better not holding that in.
Originally Posted by kml
That sounds awful.
I do have one question for you - or maybe two:
Why do you think YOU are the person she told?
Do you believe her story?
Not saying stuff like this doesn’t happen to women - it certainly does - but could she be making up a story to protect herself against you learning she got drunk and wrecked her car? Or did it really happen but she picks you to tell the story to in a bid for your attention?
I’ve thought a lot about these things. I’m sure it happened but I also know there may be some things she left out. She could have easily hid everything from me as she is in a different city/state and back here for her weeks w/the kids. I think she told me because she trusts me like Job said she also told me she doesn’t feel safe.
I think she told me because she needed to feel safe telling someone and won’t get that from her parents, sad to say but it’s true. She also said she didn’t want her step dad to freak out, which is normal or understandable but not helpful. Idt she’s trying to get my attention, she hasn’t said much about it since the first couple talks. I worry more that she will try to bury it and not deal with it.
Originally Posted by job
I am sorry to read what has happened. I'm glad to read that she saw a doctor and spoke to the police. Is there any way that you can go look at the car and see just how much damage was done?
She called you because she knows that she can trust you....but at some point, she is going to need to tell her family about the accident if they should ask about the car. I hope and pray that this is a wake up call for her and she gets all of the help she needs.
Hope you and the kids are doing okay.
Her car is totaled and it got towed so I’m not sure what she told them. I hope this wakes her up as well, it’s hard to see thi.
My kids are doing well, it’s hard to believe how fast they are growing up. S13 is my height and jr high has been a lot better for him than the last 2 years and he enjoyed school this year. D12 is doing good and just made the city jr orchestra. I’ve been hearing her sing around the house lately too, she was like a bird before the MLC and it’s nice to see her that happy again.
Kyh. So sorry to hear about your ex’s assault. Her not having a memory makes sense to me. Could be the drugs she ingested (Rohypnol?) and a reaction to the trauma of being assaulted. Really hope she made a police report and had a rape kit done. Her telling you instead of her family or friends also makes sense to me. She obviously trusts you and maybe thinks the father of her children should know if the fallout from this has an impact on her availability to your kids. I know if something like that happened to me, I would want XH to know. Not because I would expect him to do anything about it but because I know it would likely mess me up for awhile and he would need to know in case the kids were impacted in some way.
Glad to hear your kids are doing well. My D14 and S14 started high school this year (we don’t have junior high, just high school [Grade 8-12]) and they both like it a lot better as well.
I hope this wakes her up as well, it’s hard to see this.
I believe events such as these, horrible as they are, have a higher chance of awakening a lost soul.
A well known gal around here was right at the scene of a motorcycle accident in which the rider died; that was her awaken moment. A rock bottom realization.
Rock bottom occurs when one decides they’ve hit bottom. Perhaps ex will feel that way. Perhaps not. Her confiding in you, telling you, about it is a good thing. She isn’t totally hiding it away. Facing it somewhat. I do hope IC helps her with that.
How about you? Are you processing this alright? Such new hits from many sides. So far you’ve only told us. Is that enough? Perhaps speaking with a confidential IC yourself would not violate the intent of ex’s request, and help you; if you think you want to or need to.
Glad to hear the kids are doing well. Ah, the teen years. Great changes are in store; “great” in the very sense of the word. Continue to be that role model. Happy singing kids. A pretty solid sign that things are going right.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Kyh. So sorry to hear about your ex’s assault. Her not having a memory makes sense to me. Could be the drugs she ingested (Rohypnol?) and a reaction to the trauma of being assaulted. Really hope she made a police report and had a rape kit done. Her telling you instead of her family or friends also makes sense to me. She obviously trusts you and maybe thinks the father of her children should know if the fallout from this has an impact on her availability to your kids. I know if something like that happened to me, I would want XH to know. Not because I would expect him to do anything about it but because I know it would likely mess me up for awhile and he would need to know in case the kids were impacted in some way.
Glad to hear your kids are doing well. My D14 and S14 started high school this year (we don’t have junior high, just high school [Grade 8-12]) and they both like it a lot better as well.
Hope you’re week goes smoothly. (((HUGS)))
She did get a kit done. I haven’t asked about it, I figured she would tell me more when she was comfortable. I did notice she was being short with the kids at first but it’s gotten better. She is aware of it so that helps. Glad to read your kids are doing well too, it’s hard to believe they’re about done with another year.
Originally Posted by DnJ
Good Morning K
Originally Posted by Kyh
I hope this wakes her up as well, it’s hard to see this.
I believe events such as these, horrible as they are, have a higher chance of awakening a lost soul.
A well known gal around here was right at the scene of a motorcycle accident in which the rider died; that was her awaken moment. A rock bottom realization.
Rock bottom occurs when one decides they’ve hit bottom. Perhaps ex will feel that way. Perhaps not. Her confiding in you, telling you, about it is a good thing. She isn’t totally hiding it away. Facing it somewhat. I do hope IC helps her with that.
How about you? Are you processing this alright? Such new hits from many sides. So far you’ve only told us. Is that enough? Perhaps speaking with a confidential IC yourself would not violate the intent of ex’s request, and help you; if you think you want to or need to.
Glad to hear the kids are doing well. Ah, the teen years. Great changes are in store; “great” in the very sense of the word. Continue to be that role model. Happy singing kids. A pretty solid sign that things are going right.
Have a great day.
D
Thanks, I’m doing okay with it, I think I just need more time. It’s not consuming me constantly like at first. It was also exhausting acting like nothing was going on when with my kids. I think getting it out here has helped.
