So, specific actions I need to take: do not go on any trips or outings with wife included, go out and do own thing...do not help wife with chores...
[/color] Continue to do chores, but don't pick up after your W or take on her load. Do your share and that's it.
Yes, please GAL. Yes, please stop involving your W.
Ok, example event...sons school concert this Thursday...go on own, sit separate from family, do own thing after?
[color:#3366FF] Go to the event, sit next to your other kids and not next to you WW. The event is for your son, and you should to always to be apart of their lives.
Another is this weekend. W wants to go out of town with kids to visit her mom on mothers day...stay home and do own thing?
[/color]Don't stay at home. Find something to do. Find something to get your mind off of your Sitch. Go buy some new clothes. Be dressed and ready to rock when that day hits. Since you live near SA, go to the river walk theres always events down there.
Next weekend...go out of town with kids to visit my patents, exclude wife?
[color:#3366FF]Yes, exclude your WW. But you should let her know you are taking the kids. You can say, "Next weekend I'm taking the kids to my parents house". Don't even invite her. If she ask do you want her to come. You tell her I rather it just be the kids and I. This is the beginning of showing her what D will look like. It's no more have Tate consider her for family events, you are moving on.
I don't know what lawyer you talked, but the lawyer I talked too, never told I didnt have a chance to get 50/50 and keep my house. The entire process is a negotiation. If if you and her can't agree, the judge might decide you'll sale the home. And my W is a stay at home mother. Stop just laying down. If this lawyer isnt giving the advice you want to hear, go talk to other lawyers. This lawyer sounds like they just want the case and not the fight.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
As far as my sister goes, she keeps facilitating our families getting together. She makes plans with my W without me knowing. I dont get how she can do that...my W is trying to f### her husband yet she sets up playdates at her house.
Maybe her husband is f***ing both of them, and she's ok with that? SIL is now sister-wife? Stranger things have happened. In the end, this is about YOU and not your sister, so sitting there and going "hey, what the heck is going on here?" when you KNOW what's going on on YOUR side isn't exactly doing you any good.
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Yes, I am acting out of fear...my W has laid out a very generous visitation schedule...if we have to fight over visitation, I will come out with the short end of the stick.
The "generous" visitation you describe seems to be the Texas Standard Possession Order.
My lawyer confirmed again today tgat if I try to fight for possessive custody, Im going to lose unless I can show my W has a major problem like drugs, etc. We will have joint managerial custody.
Same with child support...he said judge woukd rule for standard child support no matter tge visitation percentage...basically judges will rule for higher earner to pay lower if lower has primary possessive custody.
Note on previoes coaches...yes, the coaches were adamant that i not let my sister or family know.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
I exercise often outside and am in great shape, work on the yard, and projects around the house. I try to spend the rest of my time with my kids. So GAL will take time away from my kids. My eife has complained in the past that I spent too much time out of the house...so some of my 180s were spending more time inside with the kids.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
I exercise often outside and am in great shape, work on the yard, and projects around the house. I try to spend the rest of my time with my kids. So GAL will take time away from my kids. My eife has complained in the past that I spent too much time out of the house...so some of my 180s were spending more time inside with the kids.
How about spending more time outside of the house WITH the kids. No need to involve the W. But aside from this, you need to have your own life. Heck just get out of the house for a few hrs, take a drive and listen to some loud music. Get her wondering your where abouts. You need to stop living your life based on what your wife thinks. BE THE BEST TATE. Geez i cant believe she is having an A with BIL, makes things so much more complicated. Heck, i dont even think i would want a reconcile from this, she is messing with your Marriage and your sisters.
You have gotten some sound advice from many here on how to proceed. I can understand that there is love for W and children, but at some point you need to start loving yourself.
I'm new here and my sitch is still fresh so dont take my advice to heart, just giving my opinion on what i feel you need to do. Keep your head up Tate
M:26 WAW:26 T:11 M:7 D:3 BD 1 10/16 I love you but not in love BD 2 2/18 I love you but... W moves out 3/18
Yeah, the BIL thing screws everything up. Just my wife having affair with someone else is easier to deal with. This BIL and my sister were the go to family to visit. I almost get the feeling that everyone knowing what was going on was the last straw for my W...she had no reason left to stay...she screwed up my whole family and is now running away from it, leaving her mess for us to clean up.
My sister is worried about her marriage failing over this by what I can tell...and she should be. In some twisted way, she deserves better and I eish he would lose her over this. Then both my wife and he would be single but could never be together...not with any family member ever wanting to see them again. I know, twisted...
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
Tonight is a chance for me to go out. W has a braek from grad school, kids will be home, I have the evening open.
So, this is the hard part for me...I go out and dont spend time with my kids? They will have friends over after school and will need to do school work after, so I cannot take them out with ne...my norm would be to come home asap and help tgem with schoolwork and play games with tgem until bedtime.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
There are a lot of lazy lawyers out there that look at how much you have have amd then write you off and make it about getting a fast settlement. Some of them have arrangements with opposing counsel as well.
Get some other legal advice, google mens rights attorneys.
Look up zues old posts. His wife was a stay at home mom without a degree and hebworked full time. He fought hard for it, proved he was a good dad and won.
