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A Message from Michele
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Originally Posted By: Coconut
so long and short, sure I would date a 29yo, that's a very sexy age group, but would I expect to have any long term connection, do I think I could keep up with a 29yo for the next 10-15 yrs, seriously doubt it..


Why does there have to be a long term connection?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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Sorry to insert myself here but the 39 y/o asked me why I wasn't going to "at least keep dating"...

even though I'm not ready to remarry and might not ever be, I don't want to waste time on something that is never going to be "all in" at some point in some form.

life is short and I'm active and look younger than my age, as of NOW...

After maybe 5 fun dates, if there's no way I'm going to stick with this person, why keep dating? Seems like By spending my time & energy with the "never going to be permanent guy", I'm losing opportunities to meet a man with whom I could find lasting love.

I'm asking.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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My dad and his wife have a 17 year age difference. I believe they were the same ages as you and this woman. They have been married for 16 years or something like that. She did have to accept she wasn't having any children, though. My dad has been retired for 10 years, too. She will retire in 3.

it can work if you are in similar places in life. But really, if she wants kids, it isn't going anywhere.

Never did I know there was an equation to this!

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Quote:
Seems like By spending my time & energy with the "never going to be permanent guy", I'm losing opportunities to meet a man with whom I could find lasting love.


25 - agreed. But if you're in the time and space where you're NOT looking for that, it can be fun.

I do think absolute age is less important than state in life. I agree that a young person who wants (or might want) to have kids is not a match for someone who is done with that. I frankly wouldn't want to date a guy my age who had grade-school age kids. And at my age, the opposite end of things is also true - I don't want to date a guy who is on his last legs health-wise when I have great genetics and the likely prospect of a long healthy life. (My mom is 86 and still works three days a week. ) So I wouldn't likely date a guy too much older than me unless he was Jack LaLanne.

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Or Liam for me.

I hear he is taken. So I am moving on to a new crush.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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V,

my Liam fantasy was also, MOST disappointed, even though I admit to being glad for him...(but still!)

Yes, the children thing is smart on our end b/c who wants to feel guilty later on OR worried we are resented...?

I've had enough of that.

I heard a great phrase from a stunning though older, widow, that pretty much sums up my gestalt of all the fears down to a sentence:

Don't date someone who wants a nurse, or a purse.

The guys who talk about their age (especially if they're only a few years older than me! "Hey, speak for yourself") are just a turn off. I don't want to live with someone who thinks he's on the downward slide to death, and just wants company for the plunge.

Nor a nurse to care for him for decades.

NOR do I want someone who assumes I'm rich and can support him. Self reliance is valuable to me in a man.

I want don't require or worship money.

Never have.

So gentlemen, is this something men fear as well? That you are sort of (or outright) being used?

And yes, I concede you may not be fully representative of ALL men, but hey, close enough!


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc


So gentlemen, is this something men fear as well? That you are sort of (or outright) being used?

And yes, I concede you may not be fully representative of ALL men, but hey, close enough!


Hello

Not a man : o) but I think this is something that probably comes up a lot.

In my (limited) experience of dating post M, one man used this to his advantage: the fact that he had a regular wage, property, and earned much, much more than me. Like that made him a good prospect (and a good prospect for M). He paid for pretty much everything, took me out a lot, took me on holiday...

Was that attractive? Not for me, for a couple of reasons. I like to know and feel independent, and he was very controlling as well.

The wonderful man I'm with? We had an interesting conversation...I asked him what had attracted him to me, and one of the reasons he gave was that I was very genuine and wasn't looking for a free lunch. I know he doesn't like manipulative people, or artifice, and he's attracted to women who are their own person.


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017
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I just date so essentially it doesn't matter at all. I think you can date someone just for now.

I like Dawn's attitude on it, play the field be open.

So I haven't even thought about it.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: LH19
Don, you are way too up tight my friend.


Or you missed my attempt at sarcastic humor - one of the two. smile


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc

So gentlemen, is this something men fear as well? That you are sort of (or outright) being used?


For the most part I don't really think of it, while I am comfortable and have enough money to enjoy life, I don't think I have the level of income that would attract someone only out for the money. I am a Man, and want to be able to provide, so I don't have a problem with that.. Also, I'm not attracted to high maintenance girls, so that automatically takes many of that materialistic type out of my dating pool. I want a girl who likes to get dirty, not one that has to get made up to go kayaking.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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