A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly
with Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching
SPECIAL MARCH OFFER -- SAVE $40
THREE DIVORCE BUSTING TELEPHONE COACHING SESSION FOR ONLY $350
CALL 303-444-7004 and mention this offer
or use code: SAVE_$40 in the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: OwnIt] #2759383
09/02/17 05:49 PM
09/02/17 05:49 PM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 582
UK
T
Treasur Offline
Member
Treasur  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 582
UK
You did amazingly well, T, a DB Queen. He's a POS, a liar and a gameplayer. A sheriff really? Use your L and your lovely Dad to support you. He's not worth spit on your shoe right now.

I'm sorry. I know it hurts. It isn't you. It was never about you. His behaviour shows that. Talk to your L soon, if you haven't already, about protecting your kids and custody particularly if he's moving.

And the truck is joint marital assets at least so no he can't just take it. Arguably it was a gift if you can prove that with docs.


Me: 53 H:38
T:20 M:14
BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression
S 1/16
PA 4/16
H filed 1/17

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: Treasur] #2759392
09/02/17 11:45 PM
09/02/17 11:45 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
Alabama
L
leahsue Offline
Member
leahsue  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
Alabama
T, thank GOODNESS you checked in! It sounds like you are doing all of the hard things, like a boss. Girl, you are so strong, you don't even realize your own strength. You hang in there. You got this.


M-60 H-51
M-14 years
BD 12/26/16
S 1/1/17

"First the pain, then the rising."
Glennon Doyle Melton

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: leahsue] #2759403
09/03/17 02:21 AM
09/03/17 02:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
T3,

1) bravo!

2) the stories WAS's give as explanation for why a m ends, are almost always one of 2 versions.

Either the LBS was so terrible, the WAS HAD to leave,

OR they've agreed to it mutually and are going their separate ways in a "conscious uncoupling",

(the 2nd version was my h's until I wanted spousal support. THEN the "home was toxic and he had to leave our kids and me for 3/4 of the last decade".)

3) Given the option of bad mouthing you or pretending this was a mutual thing, your h will pat himself on the back for choosing the "mutual decision". How honorable of him.

To be fair, it's better than the version in which you are an unbalanced shrew.


What is he going to say? "I'm selfish and dishonest. I only like part time fathering, and need total freedom like a single man"??

4) learn to let go of what he tells others. You never had and never will have control over that. People who know you or who matter, will know the truth.

This^^ is a biggie for me b/c I seem to have lost my FIL and his wife, whom I've had in my life longer than my own dad. But I'm not sure what they really believe or hope or think.

And it just cannot matter to me or it''ll be self inflicted pain.
Same goes for you, T3.

I admit this is a big challenge for me, but I'm working hard on it with my T.

Finally - keep your eye on the future path and not on the things you believe you lack or the past. Once you know what you'd do differently, let go of the past b/c the regrets are counter productive and unhealthy.

This is another challenge for ME, big time.

And I struggle with the injustice of this all.

I really really understand this^^^.

God forgive me but the thing that usually shakes me loose of this is the tragedies in my closest friend's circle. A cancer diagnosis, a lung transplant that is failing and my bff who lost her 22 y/o son last fall, to an undiagnosed cardiac defect.

What do I have to complain about? (I worry God will roll his eyes.)

Grand scheme of things, we are in a better place than most women on the planet, who don't know if their h's live or were caught in cross fire, or if their next child will be born healthy or in a hospital or whether the war in their nation will spread to their village, the place they live has no water or electricity

OR we could live in Houston and had no flood insurance.

It does not take much to see that we are doing alright...

and if that^^ does not help enough, we must get back to GAL. And relying on the loved ones around us. Who we are fortunate to have.

And we learn, in time, not to care about the fool we have for a co-parent,

but to pray that somehow our kids will still feel valued and loved, and we will do our best to ensure this.

That^^^ is something we can work on.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2759404
09/03/17 02:23 AM
09/03/17 02:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
PS

Caroline Myss wrote this as a prayer:


"Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know, and Constant wondering is constant suffering."

Sometimes I say this every hour.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2760292
09/07/17 08:50 AM
09/07/17 08:50 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
T3

where are you?

Hope all is well cool

((( )))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2760364
09/07/17 10:45 PM
09/07/17 10:45 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 275
C
cadence Offline
Member
cadence  Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 275
T's in FL. Has anyone heard from her? I imagine hurricane prep (and potentially evacuating) is keeping her really busy.

Thinking of you, T!

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: cadence] #2760406
09/08/17 03:09 AM
09/08/17 03:09 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
good point Cadence, can't believe I forgot she was in Florida.

T3, should we look for you on tv?

If it comes down to it, maybe you can make a raft with the crap your h left in the garage.

BE SAFE and if there are News Cameras around, make a big sign

and write "T3 is Fine! She is going to MEH!"

cool

seriously, I hope you're well & safe


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2760588
09/09/17 02:18 AM
09/09/17 02:18 AM
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 170
Louisiana
D
dale165 Offline
Member
dale165  Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 170
Louisiana
Pretty sure you said before you live on east coast of FL. Have a memory like an elephant. This thing looks wild, hope you were able to flee north!


M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year
T 7 Years

Wife left October 2016
Affair began August 2016

Me 31 years old
Wife 29 years old
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: dale165] #2760590
09/09/17 02:39 AM
09/09/17 02:39 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Hi all,

Thanks for thinking of me smile

Great memory, Dale

I'm on the beach on the east coast. I left with the boys Thursday. What a nightmare 95 was and the normal 8 hour trip to NC took 13 hours!

The boys were great and so helpful with the baby! My dad stayed at our house, we have storm shutters, generator, etc. luckily it's moving west which is good for us bad for others but we are still going to get the top corner of it which I guess it's pretty bad. We lose power so easily and probably will be without power for at least a week frown

Hoping those of you in Irma's path stay safe!!


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: T384] #2760604
09/09/17 03:19 AM
09/09/17 03:19 AM
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 170
Louisiana
D
dale165 Offline
Member
dale165  Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 170
Louisiana
Awesome good to hear you fled. Might as well stay there for as long as you can. Think they got another right behind it. The joys of living on the gulf/Atlantic!


M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year
T 7 Years

Wife left October 2016
Affair began August 2016

Me 31 years old
Wife 29 years old
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004