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Nearing 13 years, I am still in pretty good spirits. Lately I have been depressed probably because I realize my mortality is becoming more obvious. I am relatively healthy, getting in shape both because I want to be in shape in general plus I am going on a cruise in December of 2019. I don't want to be in bad shape when I go and do not want to tire easily.

It is hard for me to believe I am 56. I still feel no different when I was in my early 30s. But with more relatives passing, my mother is ill (and I dont know how long I will have her in my life) and friends that are getting older (them, not me, lol), I am realizing I wont be around forever.

Just in the past couple of days, I have thought about my "wife" more often. I know that if she and I are ever restored, it would be divine intervention. Only He could have anything to do with it. I am not expecting anything. In fact, I am open to a new relationship only if it seems like it is supposed to happen. I am not seeking a relationship.

Ideally, I would have a friend to hang with, go on trips, etc. I am not worried about being in a relationship. I just want to have someone that is my friend.

I just wanted to briefly check in. I dont know if there is anyone still on the forum from back 12 years ago that even knows me but it feels good to stop in after being away for well over a year.

I hope life finds everyone well.


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
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Relatives of mine were married for decades, then separated for 14 years but are now back together.

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Originally Posted by missmyfriend
Lately I have been depressed probably because I realize my mortality is becoming more obvious. I am relatively healthy, getting in shape both because I want to be in shape in general plus I am going on a cruise in December of 2019. I don't want to be in bad shape when I go and do not want to tire easily.


Right there with you! I turned 58 last month, so yeah 60 is knocking on the door and I'm not answering, LOL! Personally I think staying healthy is key in combating age though. I go to CrossFit 3 times a week and a conventional gym 3 times a week. I eat well and stay active. I have a very young girlfriend who gives me a lot of energy too. I actually feel healthier and stronger than I did in my 40's. I definitely have thoughts about how much longer I'm going to be around, and think about how a heart attack or stroke could quickly add 20 years to my age but hey, all we can do is take care of ourselves as best we can and keep plugging along!

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Just in the past couple of days, I have thought about my "wife" more often.


I'm just curious, when you think about her what are you thinking? Do you miss her, and still want to reconcile after all this time? Do you have much contact with her? I see my XW at least once a week because we still share custody of S16 for now. For the longest time she seemed like an alien, so when I was around her it didn't make me miss our marriage because she didn't even really resemble who I was married to. But the last couple of years she has slowly become more like the W I knew and loved. Much more mellow and relaxed and that old quirky sense of humor has come back. I honestly have no interest in reconciling at this point, but it's interesting to see that after all these years she's becoming her old self again. Wondering if you see any of that in your W?

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Ideally, I would have a friend to hang with, go on trips, etc. I am not worried about being in a relationship. I just want to have someone that is my friend.


Do you think she would be interested in that?

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I dont know if there is anyone still on the forum from back 12 years ago that even knows me but it feels good to stop in after being away for well over a year.


The north remembers! (Game of Thrones reference grin )


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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DavidUK, that is amazing!

I have a coworker whose parents divorced when he was 3 (he is now 29) and they got back together almost 5 years ago and remarried.


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,313
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AnotherStander, thank you for your comments.

My ex and I were together for a long time but when I think of her, I feel more sad about the impact to our kids. It was pretty devastating to them because she really wasn't the mom she had been. She was done when she left, not just with me. It was like she had become a stranger. I have had to let it go with how she handled things, again more about how it affected our children than what it did to me.

As far as reconciling, I would be very hesitant because I don't know if I could trust her again. I would prefer that we were friends and nothing more however I don't think that is very likely. I also don't think she can be just friends with me. She commented years ago that she would be afraid to fall into old habits.

Glad to hear you stay in shape. I think it is critical to an overall feeling of well being, physically and emotionally. I really let myself go and can feel much better just in the last couple of months working out, both resistance training and cardio. I will never go back to a sedentary lifestyle again.


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
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