I haven't been on here in ages. I lurk now and then, but haven't had much to say. I used to write books!
My move to Northern California from Hawaii was rough. I still haven't found a job. I also stay home a lot. One of my friends chides me that I won't meet people out here in the country. Oddly I am okay with that.
I have attempted to date, but keep finding guys who seem to either want a nursemaid or are just so darn needy. And none of them know how tall (Short) they really are. If they write 5'8" on their profile, and show up and I either look them in the eye, or I can see the top of their head, they are not 5'8". I am 5'6" and I don't wear heels over 2"....... My real problem with that is they are not telling the truth about their height, what else are they hiding?
So I had an epiphany recently. I still miss being married. But I realized I do not miss sharing my life with someone who was making me jump thru hoops like some sort of trick pony. I spent a great deal of my life working on his dream of sailing around the world. Reading books, attending seminars, buying the boat, living on it for months and months, crossing the Pacific Ocean in a 36' catamaran with him.....
Now he has my former friend SOW hiking every weekend. And we are not talking little hikes, we are talking 8-12 hour big mountain hikes. His new dream is hiking some big mountain in a foreign country. And I see the photos he posts on instagram. And all I can think is how I am so glad that he has her jumping thru the flaming hoops now.
To update those of you who followed along early in this story: She had moved to Houston after breaking up her and my marriage. That was over 5 years ago. She finally moved back to Hawaii when she had been gone 5 years. And my X, patiently waited for her. Well, he did actually break up with her once and date a bit. I know that because it is a small island and my friends reported new women sitings to me. Anyway, they are finally living under the same roof.
And of course that has led to some funny conversations. He called me and asked for a photo of himself as a child. I inquired why, he said they were making a photo wall. I then asked did he want any photos of his children. He allowed maybe one of each. I have not sent any, as I asked him several times in the TWO YEARS we lived in the same house after we divorced, and the next 18 months before I left the island did he want any of the family photos. And I really have problems going thru those boxes. I have tried, it just really depresses me.
Anyway, I sure hope everyone here is making their way through their own journey. This is a great place to come for support. I still appreciate each and every one of you who were there for me.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I'm not surprised that some of the guys aren't being honest about their height. People on those sites either put old photos or photos of someone else on there, as well as tell little white lies about personal data...but if you can be patient and weed through the ads, you may be able to find some good men in the mix...it's just that you have weed an awful lot to find them.
As for your xh, maybe he'll get lost on that tall mountain. He's just another lost soul out there trying to impress people along the way. Be thankful you aren't dealing w/him any longer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
