We're you aware that skinny dipping and doodler share a letter? It's D by the way so I wonder what we can make of that.
I think the take-away is that the only thing that doodler learned in his creative writing class was alliteration. Meter, rhyme and plot development were too complex to grasp.
Skinny dipping doodler's dandy dangling d@ck was dutifully damaged by a dastardly dolphin.
My survivors of abuse group was broken up last night because of Google changes and the board sponsor dissolved it, I had been having help for my PTSD there.
So of course it's down to Superbetter for help on yhe health issues. So in January my superbetter goals will be updated and I will list them out.
I have been grieving and was in a dark tunnel for a while, about two weeks. Lost the fighting spirit, partly because I had flu.
Deep, dark and grieving my sadness. Anxious over the Giggalo and what he will do. My finances etc.
That's why I need my team around me much more these days.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
So of course it's down to Superbetter for help on the health issues. So in January my superbetter goals will be updated and I will list them out.
Vanilla,
I'm sorry you've been in a dark place. I hope you're feeling better.
I'm looking forward to the winter solstice (it's tomorrow). I'm ready for more daylight. The shorter days and the holidays have really slowed progress on my various projects. I miss the long summer days.
V. Look back at that list you posted on page 8. Look at how much you have accomplished. There is always backsliding as we move forward.
This process is not magical--wake up one day and it is all put back in place. Nothing that matters and is lasting is.
I know for me, change starts off with me all gung ho--full throttle ahead. Then I start to fade. Then I hit a bump that completely resets me and I shut down. Give up.
It wasn't until I learned that the fading and slip ups are not failures. They are natural occurances that are unavoidable. Life is hectic and messy and varied with highs, lows, and hum drum moments.
I have come to measure my progress by seeing how I am able to handle my recovery from those dark times. The inspired times are easy--no brainers--can't put too much weight on those successes. The dark times are unavoidable--out of our control most of the time--so the best we can do is ride them out and trust that their will be light again. Can't dwell on missteps that might occur during this time because as I said before, it is impossible to be perfect in imperfect situations.
But when you are coming out of the dark, or even when you are coming down from the high--those are the times that show your real progress. After you give yourself a moment for rest and healing, do you have the ability to put one foot in front and leave the darkness behind? Is it happening easier after each dark moment than it did before? Are old obstacles now feeling like inconveniences and no longer really distractions? When you are coming down from a high and feel your energy starting to fade, do are you able to shift gears and lower your expectations for yourself to suit your frame of mind?
I am finding that my ability to shift those gears smoothly has really improved a lot over this process. My highs are still as high, my lows can still be as low, but my responses have become far more efficient. That is where the progress can be found--and when you look back at where you started the progress is obvious.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Yes times are dark and hard. The Giggalo still plays games, I don't know if we exchanged docs and I haven't switched on my laptop to know by looking at the emails.
Today would have been the first day I could know as L is back at work. Part of me says leave this until next Tuesday when the real world starts. The brave part says tomorrow is a good day.
I am very very low and in a struggling place, and yes dearest Msd I have been there before. And come out, my fins do not improve as the L fees drain my bank account. I am over worked.
The biggest crop of cold sores you have ever seen in your life.
I am weepy and tired, even though my sleep is so much better.
Just pick myself up and get on.
I am quite sad that despite my efforts the weight is not shifting. The white van is to be scrapped and my tablet failed. All in all not good.
A dark forbidding place today, full of emptiness that 2017 may be as big a struggle as 2016 with this dreadful wayward abuser.
Hey ho.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
