Me and my 2 daughters

[peacetoday]

Hi Irish

I also doubt she will stay away for long..maybe for a while
but,
sometimes I wonder if they even remember what they say..or If their sober and if they are using something, they just numb out and go in denial


The MLcer seems to point out that "they re happy now" and we and everyone should be glad for them
seems like a strange request really and who could be really happy with no relationship with their kids or in some cases their whole blood family

You did handle it well-

[Sotto]

Hi Irish, I think you did fine too. I do shake my head with the whole - 'they should be happy for me' mentality. I hope at some point she appreciates the impact of her poor choices and takes steps to repair things - if not with you, at least with the girls. You don't want to spend your whole life out of touch with your daughters and blaming them for that.

But that's on her and either she will or she won't get her own chit together..

Take care and always strive for compassion WRT her....she doesn't sound to be in a great place just now. Xx

[job]

She'll touch base again very soon. The holidays are not far off and she's thinking about all that she's missing out on w/her old life.

[HTM]

Irish,

You did fantastic, and continue to be an inspiration to myself as well as all the other MLC DB-ers here.

Thanks for the vid-link too, definitely strikes a chord.

If they can't accept i am happy I will cut all communication to them and you and will not try again.

Picked up on the manipulative undertone of this -as it's a lot of what I'm getting from my W right now- if they can't have it their way then they'll... I'm sure your teenage daughters handle not getting their own way better than that!


BTW, when those Guinness's are flowing, I'll get the round after Vapo.

[bttrfly]

Irish my friend, regardless of whether or not she reaches out again, you and the girls will be fine. I'm glad you were honest. The truth is hard for those who like revisionist history, I guess.

I cannot wrap my mind around a parent who walks away from their children. I know she needs compassion, and that's probably really hard to give right now. Just keep focusing on you and the girls. You are doing great! Proud of you for not getting sucked into her madness.

xoxoxo

[123Gwen]

Great video Irish - Thanks

[123Gwen]

Sorry just caught up with your thread. Excellent boundary setting Irish. It is very bizarre how the MLCer only processes life from their perspective (i.e. - the children should be happy for me) - It is like they have absolutely no empathy for the people they professed to love and cherish. Obviously they are unable to grasp the idea of a parent/child relationship either.

Irish, your girls are lucky to have you standing beside them and supporting them as individuals. Bravo.

[Irish M]

thanks everyone. I cant say enough thank you's to you all. To all those lurking looking for answers. This is the place to be. lots of true caring people.

Update on my D14 asthma health scare. We did all the test possible. She is in perfect health. It may just be she needs to exercise a little more. she is 5-4" 115lbs, so not a weight issue. Cardio is needed I think. so I will go get an elliptical.

A few weeks ago, I let XW know that the school had concerns if D14 had asthma. After all the test it is a negative. I won't update her on this since she has yet to ask how she is doing.

D14 and I spent a good day together between test at the hospital. Waiting and chatting. People watching etc. In her comments I can tell she has a huge heart. Her reactions to seeing patients on oxygen due to lung problems I think scared her. She has many friends at school who are smoking and she really got scared for their future.

D16 is continuing her driving lessons. So proud of her. I made a short video of me coaching her. lots of fun.

not sure if I mentioned this here before. One of my employees at work who's brothers XW had a similar MLC like my XW. Tattoos, drugs, men , abandoning kids , rewriting history etc.. Well he received an apology letter from her. Full of regret .

reminded me of MHL

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2181385

not sure how his story ended. I believe he had moved on with his new girlfriend and was just helping his XW connect with the kids.

I think i am at that point. There's nothing i need or want from my XW but to be a mom to our kids. You never know. years to go still but I will help her.


hugs to you all for listening

[CaliGuy]

Irish .. crazy I thought I have read every MLC post and well you pull one I had not read but it really resonates with where I am very close to.

Hard telling if we ever get a letter or words like that, in all my readings it does seem few and far between but you can read his post and realize he has hit a level of healing where he was not jumping at the bit thinking all would be good.

I am there with you, not that I slammed and locked the door but I really am focused on MY life and MY GOALS and really less concerned with what cheese she is chasing nor what tunnel she is poking her head into.

You have done absolutely solid with everything that has been thrown at you ... dignity and grace.

[Irish M]

Happy Halloween

Hope all of your kids had fun. I'm a big kid around Halloween and I put on a haunted house for my neighbourhood. Was a huge success.
Animated zombies and flying ghosts.

Well XW did reach out. Most of you predicted it. It was a simple message wishing me a happy Halloween and for me to kiss the girls for her.
I didn't reply. It wasn't a question and beside I hug and kiss my girls every chance I Can.

Hope you are all well

Irish 🎃👻