My wife has in the beginning of this summer gotten pills that have fixed her period somewhat (now down to 1 week & 1/2 to 2 weeks) which may also have increased her sexdrive somewhat.
You mean that every month her periods were lasting up to 2 weeks? How long has she had that problem?
Is this doctor that prescribed the pills, a hormone specialist?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Ok history of OM as far as I am aware. She works in a preschool that shares a building with a school for ages 6 - 12. He works in the daycare section of that school and... Hmm... She's been having her practical education there for the last 4 years, 4 weeks at a time every term. Apparantly he's recently dieted / started working out properly. Used to be fat.
Ok, she has been giving a running commentary of his actions since the talk and he's been sort of avoiding her like I did in the beginning of the summer that we got together. He has now left the school and at first didn't even reply to her email about getting an email or phone number. Now he has okayed her friend request on facebook. One that she apparantly removed.
Either she is trying to make me jealous (something she has always wanted, but I have a tendency to blow up for a short time or keep my cool for practically forever lasting anger/jealousy isn't something I can sustain.) or he is a bigger problem than I thought. Though it is pretty clear that it is her divorced friend that keeps trying to push them together. That's what it feels like from random halfcontradictory comments anyway.
Both our kids were cesarians. Ever since our youngest was born (4 years ago slmost on the dot) she has been having REALLY long periods. Before our oldest, her periods lasted 3 days and ran like clockwork. Now... Like I said, until a doctor (that I pushed her to see) proscribed an anti-bleeding pill. Now it's 2 weeks period, 2 weeks not sort of. I've been worried for a long time, but the doctors are not
It is best for you to focus less on what she is doing and more on recognizing what you have control over...You! Be the best Dad and Duvae that only a fool would leave.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
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Ok, seriously I am not making a call out of country. We are in debt and I am looking for work. I'd love to actually determine what I should or should not be doing. But making an expensive call? That's one thing I know I shouldn't be doing.
Mistakes I've made since I the beginning of summer: 1) I was told to start intitiating sex. (No time limit, no stated or else, but it hung in the air) I tried vaugely and got shot down when I thought I'd done it right early and so just started masturbating like mad. (I can't follow my train of thought from that period I was a freaking mess) 2) apparantly promising to paint the kitchen and forgetting it. (It's done now, but I started after she told me that we're going to separate. Admittedly it's been needing new walls for 6 years... ) 3) sort of letting the kids know where getting separated. (Not quite sure how. They were asking questions of me that seemed really on the nose. But we've both told them together now) 4) told my pastor in confidentiality. (the midtake was admitting to my wife that I told him, but I asked him 3 times that this wouldn't go further thsn him or me. Now she is GIVING ME the church. Seriously biggest mistake I ever made. 5) had a very private conversation about the separation with my mom after being practically forced to do so by my wife. Then I let her havr my phone to see some photos I'd taken of the kids. Got hit with accusations about getting facts wrong about what's been going on in this process. (I'm so happy I don't keep this page on my browser) though she cleared something up that's been worrying me from the start, she isn't spending more money than usual on clothes apparantly.
I amd close to giving up. We're going to family councelling soon. Where she ecpects that we'll talk sbout how to divy up the time with the kids and other financial matters. I promised myself when I booked it that I'd give it an honest go of convinving her to stay, so even though I currently think that's not a wise choice I'm going to do it anyway. I have no idea whst the councelor wants.
Anyway, yeah. I'm no saint. I've no idea how to "grow up" and I've no idea how to fix my life
just got a job. Possibly 6 months, possibly more. Life should work out somewhat better. Since we lived on her salary before same amount as my salary now, but at 75% whereas mine will be 100% I'll be a bit better of now than before. I'll be able to pay off the debts we've accrued while she was working and finally start on my student debts.
None of this will bring her back, but it will finally give me peace. Something I haven't had in a long time.
Trying to do everything your W tells you, is not how you save the MR. Hopefully, this new job will help you find confidence again. When some men stay home without a job, they tend to swap traditional roles with the W......and it results in loss of respect from her. However, if he doesn't have a job and she does have a job, he certainly should keep the house running smoothly. He just doesn't need to fall into that subservient attitude.
I realize you are impatient and want precise instructions as to what to do next. We are trying to help you, but it takes a little time for us to fit the pieces together.
So, are you following the 37 rules? Have you read all the threads about a wayward wife? If not, then please do so, and it should help you determine if it sounds similar to what you are seeing in your W.
WW's are usually quite angry at the H, and he feels he can't win. Trying to accommodate whatever she wants, doesn't produce her desire for her H. He can't act like a doormat and expect her to fall into his arms. Anyway, read those threads I suggested.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Confidence? What strange manner of phrase is this? I'm joking of course. But either I never lost it or I've never had it. I'm no different now than before. Sure I've constantly worried about money since we started school because we weren't following my budget anymore. And I couldn't see how much money was left on her bankaccount. Once I have a salary and can get rid of the debts I can finally feel like I'm not standing in quicksand.
On a different track: SHE FEELS TRAPPED by me. Todays revelation. (Mentioned before as feeling trapped by our situation) Any further situation ask for help "hinder her progress" is just proof that I am an obstacle. Case in poin;t trying to get help for when my new job tells me to open in the morning. I asked her to leave the kids in the morning on tuesdays and I'd pick them up on fridays for her instead of her hiring a #%#% nanny to do that for her. But no, that would apparantly make her day a 12-hour workday every second week excepting of course the weeks between moving out and acquiring beds for the kids in her new apartment. I understand that suggesting she sleep in my apartment even if I sleep elsewhere might not have been wise, but I was genuinely trying to find a solution that wouldn't inconvenience my job (Kind of don't want to lose it just as I gain it) or her.
She wants freedom to invite friends over. She's especially dreaming of inviting prospective male friends. (To my face she said this) which she can't do in our apartment. (In some ways I think it all boils down to sex and that I've let her down in this area) she also wants freedom to be able to go out and party even if she doesn't like bars or discos.
Honestly don't like the idea of having the kids 10 hours in daycare each day but that's what her freedom is costing them.
Oh, yeah, can't find any threads on the wayward wife. But I've read the 37 rules. Kind of did the opposite of the touching rule, because I missread my situation.
