Very true darknes. very true. I'm giving up on this detachment thing. ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS!!
I just give up... so i'm going to rather just focus on myself - no ultimatums, no control, just going to drop the rope. Before i do that i need to secure my finances.
Need to move banks since WW works for the bank we bank at. WW wants to get a lawyer for the budget, as she actually has absolutely no disposable income. We're not divorced so everything must be split 50/50 until she files, if she does.
I'm then going to move out with my bro, hopefully first week in June, i must act now if i want to save myself, and perhaps (yeah right) my M. Yes, move out. Not to see what she does, as my mother would like to say. Rather to clear my head. Might be a month, maybe two. Will do the 5/2 custody days and come "home" each evening to play and pray with our S before bedtime, so will see him for as long as i always do really. Probably even more since i'll have him whole wknd.
Should i tell the WW or just go?
I sincerely feel its the only way that I will be able to detach. Right now, i cannot see the trees for the woods. My eyes are wide shut. I need a fresh perspective of what i need to do to survive this!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So, have you agreed on this "custody plan"? I don't know why you would. Plantation go to 28%...I think it could come back to bite you later if things go south.
Well no custody plan really,just how things would work.
There was a major power swing last night. WW was temp checking for sex real bad. I fought her off for 15 mins. Then she temp checked to get back into MBR.
I said hell no. S was sleeping in MBR at time. I said if you stay I'm going to pull you out by your hair if I must. She said I'm going to wake your son. I start taking S out of bed to put in own room and she actually tries to wake him so that I can't take him out, and then her. Luckily he's out. She then says bed in room not good, so I swap mattresses.
She I clearly upset about budget and bedroom. This is going to get alot more fragile as she clings to any cake. Any help with future confrontation pls.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
It's now 4am again and I'm not going to fall asleep. This is my life now.
Can't believe that WW can be so selfish. I'd like to say that I deserve it, but no-one really does. I must stay strong. I must remove all cake and focus on me. That's an ironic last sentence hey.
Not sure what's going to happen on trip which leaves in 24 hours.but I gotta make the most of it. Not crying though strangely enough. Think it's because I know she's cheating and I'm not being helpless about things.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Do you need proof? i thought you made up your mind.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Over the last 7 weeks i would read some of the posts about the WWs that go down the road to cheat or move out instantly. I would pray that that would not happen to me. It has not happened to me, but it is happening.
I guess the past 7 weeks have helped me to understand the principles of GAL, validate and 180, for myself - so that I can use it now. I'm starting to get the boundaries thing and I think i stood nice and strong last night regarding the budget and MBR, and alcohol.
I need to be consistent, not to save my M, but to save myself. I know that but I also know that that's the hardest part. I will drift many times on the road to emancipation but at least I know where i'm going.
I know that these emotions are due to the transition from her EA, to one or could be many PAs. She's put off her plans to go for "lunch" today so we're both at home, as I am not in shape to go to work, not at all. Going to doc and asking for some light sleeping tabs. I fall asleep great, its waking at 4am that's the problem.
May God help us find our strength, during our time of despair. Amen
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
