So i get home and she says that she is going to miss me because I will not be there to wish her for her birthday, and its sad for her cos i was there for the last 10 years. She said that she did not want to talk about it. I just said "it is your decision" and walked away.
I guess its new beginnings. I cried about tonight on Monday already. i had anxiety on thursday for it tonight too. I have to use this opportunity to detach.
As for tomorrow, I would feedback as to whether I should let er cake eat, I think i got my answer. Thx.
Life is hard, making decisions are even harder.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So she's saying that the hurt she wants to cause me is for me not to share her start of her bday. I said that i'm putting my phone off so that i can sleep when i do get home (prob around 1am, never told her the time).
If she is in an emergency i told her to call the landline and i will wake up. i must make it through the next 24 hours. if i do then i can make it through anything. And i def will bring up no R talk.
Any help on what to tell her regarding bday by yourself, would be appreciated.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Thx doodler, i'm going to break my WWs (icy cold frozen) heart for the second wknd running. I survived last week well, dipped in the week but feeling confident that i'm making the right decision.
I cannot send a message that its ok to go out without me for your bday and then take her out for lunch. That would be setting the wrong tone for the rest of my life, not just whats left of this...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
She is doing exactly what she wants. She is completely in control. My STBXW and I have her bday, anniversary, my bday, all in two weeks. She did what she wanted with who she wanted, and we didn't do anything together. I think your W is in complete control of you and her and the sitch. You need to give her space and grow a new pair, stop telling her you will be on landline, she's not gonna need you. You are not hurting her, and if you truly were, you would be giving her more ammo against you in her fantasy.
Ralph88 Me 40s W 30s, D5 D3 , M7 T9 2013 B drop 1, EA found 2016 B drop 2, EA/PA? 2/16 Physical Seperation 2/16 I filed for D 4/16 PA Confirmed
The problem Ralph is that she's trying to "re-assure" me that what she's doing is innocent, which is why she sent me 4 TM's throughout the other night that she went out. What i'm telling her now is that she must not do that.
I rather want to sleep that be "annoyed" by constant TMs that I can't believe anyhows.
She is in total control, I wholly agree, but not of me. I also got the second car so that she could get her space. Tomorrow she is looking forward to some cake and she's not going to get it. This is a power struggle, but i will not relent.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
oh, and I never meant to hurt her by saying that she can call on landline. A fellow user said that I should perhaps keep my phone on in case of emergencies. Thats why i offer the home line in case of an emergency only. And no - she is not going to call. I don't want her to call - i would like to sleep :-)
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Its 1:21am and I'm standing strong. I feel like Thurs was the day that I decided to no longer work on my M. I think that today signals a new beginning for me. One where my WW remains a neighbour, not sure if I must even wish her, but I would wish a neighbour, if I liked them... And I don't like the neighbour in my house. So I guess no happy bday.
Ah, something to look forward to. I've got to get my long term plans in place.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
(I'm writing this so that I can look back on it as the day that my new life began)
I had a goodish sleep, and awoke a few times, anxious but more tired, so went back to sleep each time. Eventually the sun came in at 7:17 and awoke me.
My WW has not returned home yet. She was never going to. If she really drinks, then she passes out. No way she would drive like that, nor would anyone let her.
So i ask myself, what do i believe is the right thing to do (thx sadhub)? What is the boundary that i stated if she did not want to share the MB with me (thx Cadet)? What could I do that made her see that I am serious about how I feel about the inappropriateness of her actions, that would be a stand that i've never ever made, that would help increase the size of these tiny new balls that i'm growing (thx sandi)?
So i've cleared out the cupboards of all of her stuff in the main bedroom, moved them to the second room. I found the key that locks the door too so when she eventually gets home, she needs to find a new place to sleep. Only problem is that the shower en-suite is attached to the main bedroom, but i'll let her in to shower each evening. Our S has his own bedroom, so we're putting him to sleep in there from now on wards.
Just had a small cry about the marriage that i've lost. Not the W. This is an opportunity for me and I have to take it.
Between my previous and last wake-up, I had a dream. In this dream there was a cute girl I was interacting with, I felt attraction for her and she was everything that I could see my life with. We spent a day together travelling somewhere with other people too. I then awoke with a smile on my face. Again, I believe that dreams help tell us what our minds are actually thinking. Your heart can blind her head, but your head must always be followed.
Also, i've not gone to church as I need to perform this renovation. But i'm not going to come back once I leave here at bout 10am. If my WW wants to spend time with 'her' son on her bday, then she will need to come to my mothers place to see him. The saddest part is that I doubt that she has the balls to do that.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
