Stay strong buddy... You need time to heal as well. Do not try to rush things. Be kind and gentle to yourself...
I agree. Just feel backed into a corner with regards to my kidos. I will do what I believe is in their best interest regardless of the effect it has on my M, no matter how bad I want M to work.
As a man of God, I have forgiven my wife for what she has done, is doing, and will do. I don't know if I will ever forget, or trust in her or our M.
Done, doing and will do. That's deep. I have thought about the done and doing part. The will do was something I have completely not thought about. Living day by day, hour by hour. The will do is terrifying, but a certainty. Hard to grasp. Thanks for your post.
Doing really good. Things have become more and more transparent and it has helped me to see things for what they are. I will post some updates on things in a few days.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. I will never tell my STBXW, unless she asks and shows genuine remorse. Then I will tell her. But forget, no, she doesn't deserve that. You don't burn someone this bad and expect them to forget.
Ralph88 Me 40s W 30s, D5 D3 , M7 T9 2013 B drop 1, EA found 2016 B drop 2, EA/PA? 2/16 Physical Seperation 2/16 I filed for D 4/16 PA Confirmed
((Cubefoot)), it is an early Monday morning and I've just read your new thread. It is heartbreaking to see so many wives and mothers throwing away their lives in hope that there is greener grass elsewhere. I am so sorry for your suffering. I wish I had words that would be like a soothing salve for your wounds.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Still here, I had to take some time to get away from the chaos, from the pain. It's tough reading so many stories that echo that of my own life. Good new is, Life continues from the other side.
Updates from the last year or so (condensed but basically)
1) Divorced 2) Primary Custody of my Children 3) I suck @ GAL - IT'S IMPORTANT, YOU SHOULD DO THIS! 4) WAW- Remarried 5) Everything in my life is doing better than ever, except me. I'm still the same, I've wasted a year. Or maybe I've just managed to survive.
So basically, IDK what to say or where to start. I've been very blessed, the divorce process was painful and it was hard drawing the line between DB practices and fighting for what I thought was best for my family and what would not slash and burn everything to the ground. What I learned was that it it possible to stand up for yourself and your family. It is possible to say, NO. To say, "This is unacceptable". If that is DB, I don't know But I do feel that it was less of a "Mr. Nice Guy". Regardless, It wasn't easy. I can say that I never caught even a slight glimpse of my ex-wife even looking back. No sight of a second thought. Ultimately, I see that as a gift. I can't imagine how hard it must be for those that deal with a WAW who plays with coming back all while having an affair or EA.
For an outsider looking in @ me, I probably look pretty happy. I probably look like I've made it through the storm. I haven't. I have an ex who has remarried someone that she has know for under one year. She now preforms the bare minimum of what a mother does and uses video games as a babysitter when the kids are with her. She truly is an alien compared to the person I once knew.
One positive of this sitch, I have never been a better father. That's really the only positive, but it's a HUGE one.
I have a desire to meet someone new, but cannot let someone get close to me. I just don't know how to trust again. I guess that comes with time.
Is it crazy I still have hope? Is it insane that insane that I still wish my family was reunited? Probably natural, albeit, 1 in a million...1 in a billion.
Anyways, I have been pretty good @ dropping the rope. That thing is LONG gone, lol. Anyways, I just thought I needed to get back on here. I have seen some of the people that used to comment on my threads have disappeared. If you are one of them, I hope you are doing well. I hope you have found peace.
I'll post some more soon, but just wanted to say hi, so, "HI!"
