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Mia2003 #2671052 04/23/16 01:41 AM
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Hi Mia, I'm glad you've made nice plans for yourself on your birthday and that's great if you feel better about the long weekend.

I normally try and have some plans on any free days. Nothing major but tonight I'm going to a movie with friends and I'm seeing M&D tomorrow afternoon. It just gives structure and companionship to your day. Hopefully you can make one or two nice plans on other days that weekend. It helps to anticipate that you may find the long weekend a challenge and plan ahead.

Take care & hope you have a nice weekend xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Mia2003 #2671060 04/23/16 04:00 AM
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Mia,
I'm glad to come here and see that you've got some plans for the next bank holiday. I'm glad your friends are going to celebrate your special day w/you. Enjoy the time you spend w/them.

I do understand your disbelief in the way that your h has done to you and your family. No one would have ever thought that they would have done the things that they have done. I am so sorry that he's still acting out.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2671126 04/23/16 11:19 AM
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Mia, I'm so glad that you've arranged plans for your birthday. You deserve a nice little celebration.


Me- 30's H- 40's
T-10 M-5
I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
Pax_luv #2671250 04/24/16 02:03 AM
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Mia2003 Offline OP
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Had a thought this morning. When h introduced the kids to ow in October and I confronted him again whether he was having an affair and he Sid no but then said 'but I have told her we're over' .....essentially he did end us b4 he allegedly started with her ( as in admired it in November) .

How can I stop going over things in my head. Wish it would stop. Had a massive heart to heart with my Oder son yesterday. Tried to be very careful what I said but had to say that what daddy has done is wrong and that no it isn't right to walk out on your wife. He agreed but got really upset.

My younger one tried to ask if we were getting a divorce but he only got the letter d and then he cried because he couldn't say the word. My heart breaks for my kids.

H is living his dream life 45 mins away and the kids have to put up with me putting on a brave face

Mia2003 #2671258 04/24/16 04:58 AM
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It is unbearable for the kids. I know how hard it is. But remember your kids will survive this and it will make them stronger. It will also forge a very tight relationship between you and your kids.

Reassure them that you will be okay.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Also my ex also claims he was not in a relationship with OW until after we broke up. The instant the bomb dropped I asked if he was having a relationship with her which of course he denied - but after bomb he was free to start that relationship.

They live in denial. It is a mental state. The best you can do is stay busy with your life and your hobbies. You are so blessed to have healthy children.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Yeah, he still denies anything went on b4 he left...bullocks. .... How can he expect anyone to believe him!!

I really feel for my kids. Yesterday was heartbreaking. H thinks that he is I. The clear as long as pays child maintenance and sees them. He has no idea of the damage his stupid behaviour has had.

I'm unhappy, I don't love you anymore....grow up you idiot. You haven't left your girlfriend...you've left your marriage and I don't think he has any idea of the actual repercussions, emotionally or financially......how he thinks he just does not pay the mortgage because he doesn't live here!!! What planet is he on. Oh yeah planet La lala. With skanky other woman where they are so 'in love' nothing matters.

One day that planet will blow h......and the ramifications and the dawn of realisation of what you have done will hurt you more than you ever know

Mia2003 #2671342 04/24/16 01:01 PM
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Hi Mia, I'm sorry you had a rough weekend with how the kids were feeling. I think the best you can do is be there for them, be there for yourself, work through your feelings and keep moving forward.

I can understand your anger towards your H and I agree with you that in time, choices like his do bring consequences. I believe that will also be the case with my H and his OW.

Did you manage to do some nice things for yourself this weekend? smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2671349 04/24/16 01:31 PM
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That was my rant lol....we ( kids and I) went to my brothers to meet his new baby and my sister and parents were there. So they spent time with the family that matters!!! That not only loves the..a given....but also supports them emotionally and financially....his cant

Mia2003 #2671564 04/25/16 09:52 AM
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Well tried to get the mortgage reduced to interest only in the interim until I can get h to contribute to our family more. Unfortunately I can't and any changes I want to make have to be agreed and signed by him. Typical

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