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Joined: Oct 2014
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V
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V
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Short list...

Lose weight
- how much
- by when?
- how, exercise, xyz diet? Healthy eating? Fasting?
- why to look better, feel less pain in your knees, be healthier

Stop panicking
- what is panic room you?
- how meds? Meditation? IC?
- how will you measure it?

Stop thinking of this and the "what ifs" CONSTANTLY
- what does this mean?

-----------------------

Hint: your goals are expressed negatively so how about the following as if your goals are already achieved

I am healthy at X weight and I,move easily and I lose two pounds a week with 3 exercise sessions / I swim every day/ I have booked a marathon etc.......

And

I am calm in the face of challenges I take 10 mins to calm myself or I meditate every day or I see my IC or.....


Over to you

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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trekfan Offline OP
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Ok, let me give this more serious thought. I don't want to set too many goals, but I see now how you are pointing out specifics.

Thanks for the help!

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trekfan Offline OP
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Wow! Man, after reading that stuff on The Solo Partner, I feel like an idiot! How pathetic am I? I am see so many of those traits in myself and my actions. Sad, sad, sad.

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trekfan Offline OP
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As far as the techniques in Distance and Pursuit, I am worried that being uninvolved will reflect my past behavior over the last year. I haven't been supportive of his new job requirements and have already been distant from him. This weekend, I really just focused on being positive when engaged with him. I wish I could take some time off of work and get a grip on this...

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job Offline
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It's okay to be positive when engaged, but you still maintain some distance for yourself. In other words, you do not go looking for him, asking him a lot of questions, etc. If he seeks you out and wants to talk about things, that's one thing and is not considered pursuit. It is called being a good listener and validating him.

If he pulls away from you and remains distant, do not pursue him by trying to engage him conversations or activities.

Distance and Pursuit are not tactics to win your h back. It is a normal pattern that many of us get into and the only way to break the cycle is by not playing this "game" w/them when they distance themselves from us.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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