Thornton and Daybyday - as always thanks for the support.
Originally Posted By: daybyday
I would want to make sure my WAS knew that I knew. I would want answers. You deserve them.
Daybyday - no reason to talk to him about it….there are no answers for what he did. H is a manipulative and controlling person and he would try to justify what he did. And there is no justification for cheating on the wife of your children (or any spouse for that matter) especially over the course of 20 years. Maybe in time I will be able to feel some compassion for him because he is obviously a very empty person and he's filling himself up with the wrong things. But, right now, I just feel disgusted and repulsed.
Originally Posted By: daybyday
See you when you come back and please try to enjoy some basketball.
I am watching my beloved Hoosiers right now….
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Good for you Hope. I think we are all disgusted and repulsed. You are right. There are no answers. H will have to live with what he will be destroying. I feel sorry for his later R. Go Butler!
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
Daybyday - no reason to talk to him about it….there are no answers for what he did. H is a manipulative and controlling person and he would try to justify what he did.
I am watching my beloved Hoosiers right now….
Broke - it's hard enough to not be disgusted and repulsed with a single indiscretion. But when it's a way of life (20 years worth?!?!?) - well I'm just sorry you got involved in it. Take the kids and go in the opposite direction - which is up!
I wish that creep knew what he really had a chance for, and let it slip through his fingers. It will dawn on him someday.
Everyone here knows that somebody, somebody truly decent is going to appreciate you for the amazing person you are. And he'll love your kids just as much. I hope I'm lucky enough some day to find somebody as dedicated as you.
In the future though - make sure you don't trip when you're stepping over that jerk when he's laying in the gutter.
Your Hoosiers aren't going to let you down or lie to you - win or lose you can accept them for who they are. You always know where they stand!
Me: 58 Her: 59 Kids: 0 Dog: 1 ILYBINILWY: 9/15 D Bomb: 1/11/16 (found out filed) Verified OM: 1/11/16 Moved out: 1/11/16 (thought it was temporary)
I am so sorry that you have had this in your life. Its hard enough to find out he cheated, but for that long? There is seriously some sort of mental issue to make someone that smug in their wrongness.
You are an amazingly strong woman (I know you said you know this, but nothing wrong with hearing it again) and have been getting stronger as you've been on these boards. Please keep your story going on here...you have been an inspiration to many with your kind support and intelligent insight. I am cheering you and your sons on as you move forward with a new life.
I'm also cheering my B-Ball team...GO ZAGS!
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Hi Broke, I haven't been keeping up on the forum but I am so sorry to hear about your latest development.
I agree with the other dbers that you have shown much strength and compassion in the way you've handled yourself and in the way you've reached out to others.
You are so much better than what your H deserve and he may be starting to realise this. Whatever your final decisions are, i know you will come out with your head high and smelling likes roses.
What Cadet said is true, you can still stay on the boards as dbing is not just for R, it is a very good way to live (most of) life. I am D but I find myself coming back here because I still find myself drawing strength from the dbers here. I hope that you will be able to draw comfort from wherever you are and whatever you do.
Lots of love and hugs, Grlonfr/ Katniss
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
So sorry to hear your news. You have always struck me as a strong, loving woman, and I'd think any real man would be lucky as hell to earn your attention. I know you're going to do your best to help yourself, and your boys, to make all of you the best you can be.
You are beautiful and I am so inspired by your grace and dignity. The new light you've acquired because of DBing and your faith will now shine even brighter. Your compassion and strength is a gift from God that you've used exactly as he intended.
Please keep your faith walk as this has been a time for testing for all of us. And though I have also come into a slight faith crisis myself, I do know that He orders our steps and knows the plans He has for us, to prosper us. That's hard to comprehend when you're in the thick of it and not getting what you want but you are a testimony to all. You are the epitome of beauty, grace and strength and indeed a woman only a fool would leave.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
Broke, what an inspiration you are. I sure hope you will continue to stop by, and post when you can, and like said so many times before you are a woman only a fool would leave.
Broke, I'm very sorry that you had to learn the ugly news about your H. Please, if you haven't already done so, get yourself check out for STDs. I know it's not something you want to think about, but you don't know and your health is very important to you and your family.
As for your marriage being over, yes, it most likely is from what you've posted, but that doesn't mean you stop DBing. DBing is all about saving you and helping you navigate life and you will be able to use what you've learned here in the real world w/others.
Broke, no matter what happens, you are a success story. You fought the battle, you acted w/dignity and grace and yes, you have even been here to help others along the way. Never think for one minute that you can't help others while going through a divorce, because you can. You can see things that others can't when they post, so please continue to post. You are going to need support during the preparation for divorce and yes, even after you divorce. Why? Because it's still a shock to you and there many here who will be more than happy to help you along the way.
Broke, the next chapter of your Life's Book is waiting to be written. As Scarlett once said "tomorrow is another day" and she was so right about that. You are going to be fine, but you need to get through the bumps and ruts in the road to the other side of the finish line. Once you are there, you'll discover how much the weight is lifted once things are finalized. But, I'm getting ahead of your next chapter.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
