Had a good day. Kids got up very early (and I mean really early) to go for an egg hunt! We spend the morning cuddling and reading books. Took them out in a park for another hunt, they loved it. I was sad as there were a lot of families, although my kids didn't seem to mind. I took a picture of them and they wanted me to send it to their dad. I did it but got no acknowledgement. It does hurt to see that he prefers to spend such a family day with OW and her children/ her family but not his own.
I think I'm gonna have to start to hate him, so I can get over him. I keep going round and round! My head is well screw on and knows that so far I have done everything to save my marriage but my heart is ruling! Any tips to mend and show my heart that I don't need him ( I know I don't), so why am I still in love with him? I don't even fancy him anymore!
You aren't weird Rouky. Your endurance is incredible however. At some point you will have had enough. I give you credit for trying to save your family but at some point you are going to have to save yourself. Not a criticism but a concern. How are you doing with GAL? I hope that you can turn the focus back onto yourself. Get out and look pretty and have some fun! Learn to love yourself again. You are special and you are loved. Have a good week at work Rouky and take care of yourself.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
You do not have to hate him to move on. You do not have to make any firm decisions. It will never be a switch to turn off when you decide to turn it off. You have full permission to continue to always and forever love, and still live your life your way.
Focusing on what you want and what makes you happy is not a decision not to love. Happiness, confidence, vitality for life will make you irresistible for any sane person. Go get obsessed about enjoying life, making mistakes and building your own sphere of friends. You can do all of that while still loving
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Sorry it's been a long time since I caught up on your thread, I just needed a break from it all.
I don't think we will ever understand how they can turn away from us and spend their time with OW and her children! I cannot imagine spending more time with another person's children than my own! They must block it all out in some way to be able to deal with it.
It is hard to know whether to try to include them in things like egg huts isn't it? I have started to just casually mention things I have planned - like a hook on a fishing line - and see if H takes the bait. Most of the time he doesn't but I've decided it's his loss not ours.
Stay strong, this is the hardest road to travel and you're doing so well.
