Wife's EA has turned into full blown relationship

[Chris82]

Many of you may remember me from a while back when coping with my wife's EA with a coworker and our subsequent separation.

Well as it turns out, divorce is underway for us and is inevitable. However, In the meantime it has come to my attention that my wife is in a full blown relationship with the OM now. There has even been talks on her part to me about how I would "react" with him and around and how she plans on introducing him to our children once the divorce is final.

Is there anyone here that's going through that that can give me some insight on how to deal with a divorced spouse in a relationship with another person.. I'd like to think that it won't last and that he'll eventually go away.. but what if it does?

I can't possibly see me ever having respect for a man like him.. or being comfortable with him around my children. I guess in the long run they are perfect for eachother.. You know.. cheating spouse, morally inept boyfriend. But the struggle of him being a fixture in my life.. disgusts me.

[shreeve]

Know how you feel Chris. I don't think it shows much character / honor for a man to pursue another's wife. My situation is similar, but we don't have children together, the OM will not see my kids. The children involved must make it much more difficult. I guess it's something we can't change, so we accept that we can't change it? It would drive me crazy too. Driving me a little crazy without my children in the OM picture.

[mvgfwd2]

Consult a L to know your rights and options, but let her do the heavy lifting with the D. If she wants it, she can do all the work to get it. You just be the best dad and person you can be. Stand up for the M.

Remember you both took a vow "...in good times and bad..." Well this is a bad time but a vow is a vow, even if the W isn't living up to her part.

BTW, there are still 7 states that allow dumped spouses to sue the OM/OW for damages. You may be in one of them. If you are in one of them it may help to just bring it up for some leverage if things get messy.