Husband and I are separated for 4 months. I was pursuing, but after talking to a DB coach, stopped stating last Tuesday. I usually get a couple of texts from him a day, asking how I'm doing, or things about the kids. Since stopping pursuing, I've gone days without hearing from him. New Years eve, I begged him back, and think I scared him off. My birthday was yesterday and I got one "Happy Birthday" text and didn't hear from him for 2 days before that. Has anyone seen this before when pursuing stopped?
Me- 50 H: 50 Married 25 T: 29 D 21 S 17 BD 9-11-15
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Was the New Year's Eve begging that scared him off before you spoke with your DB Coach? It sounds like you have stopped pursuing since that time, right? What is your DB Coach suggesting at this time?
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to schedule another session with your DB Coach.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Husband and I are separated for 4 months. I was pursuing, but after talking to a DB coach, stopped stating last Tuesday. I usually get a couple of texts from him a day, asking how I'm doing, or things about the kids. Since stopping pursuing, I've gone days without hearing from him. New Years eve, I begged him back, and think I scared him off. My birthday was yesterday and I got one "Happy Birthday" text and didn't hear from him for 2 days before that. Has anyone seen this before when pursuing stopped?
Me- 50 H: 50 Married 25 T: 29 D 21 S 17 BD 9-11-15
Roxi -
I'm sorry you are here. I hate to say it but you are just starting in this battle for your marriage to survive. I know the minutes feel like hours so 2 days may seem like 2 months but like all successful DBers say, "trust the process". Have faith. This is were the GAL comes into handy.
Men are visual creatures. Get back to being the person your husband fell in love with. Take care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This will be the hardest times of your life. I'm 19 months in and I've just started seeing sings of progress. Take it day by day. There will be days where you feel like giving up; its normal. Keep pushing through and focus on being a more confident, better you and you will not go wrong, regardless of the outcome of your marriage. Keep your head up!
Pursuing was before DB coach. It must be working because he called and asked me to dinner for the first time last week! I kept it light with no R discussion. I thought it went well.
M 25 T 29 D 22 S 18 BD 9-11-15 H says he's ambivalent about staying in the marriage
