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A Message from Michele
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AU Bob #2626330 11/24/15 06:15 PM
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I was speaking to WAW sister the other day and i dont think her family know about the EA/PA should i say anything, a lot of people who we know dont really know the exact reason or im not really sure what she has actually said to them. I have not said anything. Should i start to tell my side of the story or just say nothing?


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
AU Bob #2626381 11/24/15 09:50 PM
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Do you think if you told them it would help or hurt your chances at reconciling with your W?

If they ask don't lie, not for a WAW wife.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
mvgfwd2 #2626394 11/24/15 10:33 PM
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Not sure what would happen. I'm positive the people and friends we have have not heard the full picture, im sure she would have told them we just argued all the time, I bet she did not tell them what it was about though.


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
AU Bob #2626413 11/24/15 11:50 PM
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I mean the lady that cuts my hair for instance she knows we have separated but has never asked for my side of the story, WAW must have said something to her or how would she know. There are others we have known and who know but have never asked me?


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
AU Bob #2626446 11/25/15 06:11 AM
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Gday AU Bob,
Have read your sitch and it does resemble something like mine, regards to age, years married etc. Except my wife left for another woman.
If you ever need to chat hopefully you are close. I am in North Brisbane area.
You are heading in the right direction with the work you are doing on yourself. As mentioned above, you do need to choose whether you are working towards reconciliation or moving on. They will then determine your approach to dating or closeness to another person. I get that, it was one of the biggest things I missed: holding hands, cuddling or simply touching.


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
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Why do you feel the need to tell anyone?

Especially someone who just cuts your hair?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Hi Hotwheels.
Im in the northern rivers area.
Im still not exactly sure what the relationship she has with the OM is, i cant find out for certain. She was texting him and hiding it, what exactly was in them in not sure. There were hugs and kisses at the end of them and i did see in one that he replied to her when she sent him pictures of our new born grandaughter and she said she was beautiful and he replied not as beautiful as you. That was just one of them. The kids said they saw some and did not like them but have not told me what was in them. This guy is an instructor at her gym. It could be just friendship but she dose not understand what are acceptable boundrys. She has been going to his house under the excuse that she is doing Pt with him jogging and step sessions but she has been there for a few private partys. My children have asked her if there is anything going on and she denies it. She even gets private guitar lessons off him but this has been going on since before she left me about 12 months now and she still cant play anything?
Until i can get conformation or catch her out i wll not know.
I am going out and doing other things and have started to not even think about her some days. I spose im on the road to detachment now.


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
MrBond #2626463 11/25/15 08:39 AM
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Hi Mr Bond
Im just wonder what rubbish she had told these people. I bet she has only told them half trueths i bet there was no mention of the OM . Just how bad i was!


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
AU Bob #2626465 11/25/15 09:01 AM
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AU Bob you mention the gutair lessons and yet she cannot play a tune this does seem rather strange it is a long difficult road that we are all on and some things that mattered perviously now do not matter to me any longer

Keep strong and I can totally relate to the closeness that has gone
take care
Ghost


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
AU Bob #2626467 11/25/15 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted By: AU Bob
Hi Mr Bond
Im just wonder what rubbish she had told these people. I bet she has only told them half trueths i bet there was no mention of the OM . Just how bad i was!


I'm pretty sure my H is doing this as well.

To make things worse, we also work in the same industry. And because of who he is, I'm known as 'his wife'.

I'm struggling with this one. I desperately want to set the record straight and tell it like it is.

The thing that stops me is that I think I would lose some of my dignity. And also, where would it stop? I would probably have to start telling as many people as possible, and then updating them on how it is all unfolding.

That's actually all time and energy I could be using to help me become a stronger and better person. And also shore up my own boundaries.

I don't want to use those (at the moment) very limited resources of time and energy to essentially pursue a course of action that would take the focus away from my own journey.

Don't know if that makes any sense?


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017
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