Yes a fresh wound indeed, it feels as though it heals then it opens up again.
Yes I agree they are crippled with serious issues. Unfortunately it takes a long time for them to realize they have problems and some never do.
As of right now, I am in NC with W. I don't feel the need to contact W anymore like I used to. I am still in shock, hurt. but at peace finally knowing I was not the issue like W had originally told me a D bomb.
Thank you for the best wishes, I too wish you luck with your sitch.
Just checking into your tread buddy. Stay strong as i know affairs are hard to overcome. The trust you once had for that person is shattered. Just by thinking about it makes me sick. My wife having an emotional affair with a guy in a different country kills me, i cant imagine you. But praying to our Lord to comfort us is always the best way. I recommend you listen to this son, look it up on youtube is called Lord I need you - by Matt Maher. This song always gets me by when i start feeling depressed and down. Stay strong and ask God to guide you, he wants you to plead to him, all you have to do is ask. I promise you he will talk back to you in his word. Ill keep you in my prayers today buddy.
Here is a question. If she were to accept her mistake and ask for forgiveness , would you take her back? Would you really forgive her affair?
Just checking into your tread buddy. Stay strong as i know affairs are hard to overcome. The trust you once had for that person is shattered. Just by thinking about it makes me sick. My wife having an emotional affair with a guy in a different country kills me, i cant imagine you. But praying to our Lord to comfort us is always the best way. I recommend you listen to this son, look it up on youtube is called Lord I need you - by Matt Maher. This song always gets me by when i start feeling depressed and down. Stay strong and ask God to guide you, he wants you to plead to him, all you have to do is ask. I promise you he will talk back to you in his word. Ill keep you in my prayers today buddy.
Here is a question. If she were to accept her mistake and ask for forgiveness , would you take her back? Would you really forgive her affair?
Thank you Angel, I listen to that song all the time, Matt Maher has a lot of great songs, before BD I started listening to Christian music, almost like GOD was preparing me for what was about to come, and yes I find Christian music very healing, thank you for that! As well as prayer and asking for guidance, seems like we are on the same path.
As far as your questions go, if she were to ask for forgiveness would I take her back? She lied, deceived and betrayed me for so long, put me and our kids through so much, loneliness, confusion, pain and suffering, that will probably continue for quite sometime. I have forgiven her in my heart, but as far as taking her back, I can say no I would not take her back. It would take many years of therapy, money time and effort on both ends, including my children. The damage is too irreparable IMHO. I deserve a kind GOD fearing woman, that is trustworthy, kind, loving, that puts GOD first. That is the best foundation to a new better relationship for me and my children.
ILYNOT - I commend you for deciding to stick around to both help others and continue to work on yourself. That's a great decision, and others will truly benefit from an experienced voice.
I've dropped the rope in my situation, and have no idea what the future will bring, but I intend to keep posting, helping others, and growing as an individual while I focus on myself. I believe this site to be a Godsend. It truly saved my sanity, and probably my life, right after BD. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for the experienced voices who jumped in and pointed me in the right direction.
On behalf of all the future panicked LBS who find the site, I say thank you for your decision to stay and help out, from one DBer to another.
I have forgiven her in my heart, but as far as taking her back, I can say no I would not take her back. It would take many years of therapy, money time and effort on both ends, including my children. The damage is too irreparable IMHO. I deserve a kind GOD fearing woman, that is trustworthy, kind, loving, that puts GOD first. That is the best foundation to a new better relationship for me and my children.
So true! I believe you've got it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
ILYNOT -- that is exactly how i feel. I dont think i could take her back no matter how much i need her right now. Not unless she really works on herself and truly accepts and repents to our Lord. I deserve a wife that puts God first. I remember Saturday i burst out in tears again because i missed her and i prayed about and i asked God why he hadn't brought her back why is he splitting us in 2, we should be happy and have the family me and her never had. I just opened my bible randomly and the first paragraph i read was luke 11:24 - it gave me goosebumps
ILYNOT - I commend you for deciding to stick around to both help others and continue to work on yourself. That's a great decision, and others will truly benefit from an experienced voice.
I've dropped the rope in my situation, and have no idea what the future will bring, but I intend to keep posting, helping others, and growing as an individual while I focus on myself. I believe this site to be a Godsend. It truly saved my sanity, and probably my life, right after BD. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for the experienced voices who jumped in and pointed me in the right direction.
On behalf of all the future panicked LBS who find the site, I say thank you for your decision to stay and help out, from one DBer to another.
Thank you! yes if it wasn't for this website, I would have not learned anything about myself, I would have not learned to be patient, to look in the mirror, to validate, understand, listen, and the list goes on and on.
I am grateful I found this place, I truly wish I would have found it a long time ago. But it happened the way it happened for a reason.
I am still learning and will continue to post from time to time. It is actually very healing to be around others facing similar situations, I no longer feel alone.
I have forgiven her in my heart, but as far as taking her back, I can say no I would not take her back. It would take many years of therapy, money time and effort on both ends, including my children. The damage is too irreparable IMHO. I deserve a kind GOD fearing woman, that is trustworthy, kind, loving, that puts GOD first. That is the best foundation to a new better relationship for me and my children.
ILYNOT -- that is exactly how i feel. I dont think i could take her back no matter how much i need her right now. Not unless she really works on herself and truly accepts and repents to our Lord. I deserve a wife that puts God first. I remember Saturday i burst out in tears again because i missed her and i prayed about and i asked God why he hadn't brought her back why is he splitting us in 2, we should be happy and have the family me and her never had. I just opened my bible randomly and the first paragraph i read was luke 11:24 - it gave me goosebumps
Angel, I truly believe you have a chance having your family back, your W left you a blueprint as to whom you were! We all wish we had that from our spouses. You still have a chance brother! Keep praying, keep learning, keep changing.
ILYNOT, from what I've read here you have tremendous strength and integrity. While the situation is what no one could ever ask for, you have handled with poise and grace. From a position of strength and confidence, you know what you want in life and that is amazing.
Keep looking forward and this journey of growth will continue.
Peace.
M: 33 W: 30 T: 14 M: 9 S2 BD: May/2015 (w moves into spare bedroom one week later) EA / PA (discovered): June/2015 W moves out (living with OM): Sep/2015
