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A Message from Michele
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Joined: Jun 2015
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ATPeace Offline OP
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Pinn No I need to do this I joined a gym but have not been going for the the last week or two I have been busy in the evenings

Goal for tomorrow

Go to the gym
No relationship talks
Find a local dance group I am going to take up dancing something very new for me never done this before

Ghost


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Aug 2015
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good... I think you should make the time for it Ghost. I have class tomorrow night with lots of stuff to do and work in the morning but I still went tonight. It is the best medicine. Makes you feel good and there is a pseudo social aspect to it which is nice. Get it into your routine.

It is funny you mention the dancing. I kinda wanna swing dance... maybe i'll do it.

Let's stick to those goals tomorrow

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ATPeace Offline OP
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Really struggling to sleep now trying to find something to watch that might help me sleep


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,693
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For what its worth Ghost I think you showing signs of improvement.
Just keep trying and eventually it will add up to a big difference.



“Character is destiny” Heraclitus
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Ghost, if you're finding sleep a problem, try Nytol. It's herb based, so non addictive like sleeping pills. You'll get at least six hours out of that.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
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ATPeace Offline OP
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Thank you huddy will get some of that sounds just what I need right now hope you have a good day


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
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ATPeace Offline OP
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Did not get much sleep at all last night going to try to get some of the sleep remedy that Huddy recommended ....

Been to the gym big work out feel better for this still spending time ..with the w but will need to try to spend less as the days go by just do not know quite how I will mange this not looking for answers just know it is going to be hard

Not sure if I have got my sitch wrong I only suspect an EA have no proof but it is what it is for now

She told me today that the reason we split was she had changed had become a very different person does love me but just not in the way I want her to love me
I feel that if she says ths then I have even less to feel that it was all my fault

I guess she just changed so I do not know if there is anything I can do other than move on and this is going to be very very hard

I do not feel she is cake eating she does not ask me to do things for her I choose to do them

Another day

It took her three years to detach and make her mind to separate.....so I am four months in to this not going to be easy but I inow this will take time


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,924
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Ghost,
I am seeing too much of myself in you.
May I be blunt?
You are getting some really great advice from people who are spot on. The problem is you are not listening to any of it. You are reading it and as you read it you are building up a response and excuse.
95% of this is a battle in your head and the more you keep it there the more painful this will be.
Force yourself to GAL the more you do, the more your mind will become free and no it is not easy or fast.
This is hard stuff.
The trick is to do what your being asked to do without expectations, you will not see changes happen, but they will.

Last edited by jp787; 10/06/15 02:15 PM.

M46,W41
D16,D18
M22,T25
BD 11/12
W moved out 01/13
Piecing 10/13
Divorced 01/15
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can."
UrWorthy
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And Ghost, I KNOW it hurts. It hurts to your core, nothing much worse.
That is why you have to push forward even without seeing change, push hard.


M46,W41
D16,D18
M22,T25
BD 11/12
W moved out 01/13
Piecing 10/13
Divorced 01/15
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can."
UrWorthy
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
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Hark, is that excuses flowing from your W? For a woman who doesn't want to discuss your R she certainly seems to be quite happy to keep blaming you.

Re-read some of the posts here and you'll see a pattern developing. Sandi2 gives some great advice. She can see you need real help here as you're stuck on trying to make your W happy. Listen to her. Just keep thinking 'why are you treating me like sh1t?'. Would you take it from anyone else? No, so, without being nasty, don't take it from her.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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