This is exhausting part 4

[Cadet]

I just want her to know that I know.

I think deep inside of her she does.

Pointless to rub her nose in it.

[Azzork]

If you don't have a clear reason for wanting to do something, I think it's better to make the choice to do nothing.

[Cadet]

If you don't have a clear reason for wanting to do something, I think it's better to make the choice to do nothing.

Yea doing nothing is really doing something!

And I agree it is usually the best choice.

[Kembo05]

thanks for the input guys, I'm glad I have had a couple days to let my emotions calm after finding this out. It would have been bad if she would have been around the day I found out. I'll be alright but it breaks my heart to see the person she is now.

Makes me sad the past 11 years are overshadowed by the past year of pain she has inflicted. I'll make it through though.

[Azzork]

Makes me sad the past 11 years are overshadowed by the past year of pain she has inflicted.

That's up to you to decide.

Nothing my wife does today or in the future can take away the joy of our wedding, our first house, the birth of our children. Nothing she does can undo the celebrations we attended the friendships I made, and all of the wonderful feelings that I associated with our connection. Whether she wants to believe it or not, that all still exists.

We gave more than fifteen years of our lives to each other, and I'm not going to let these few months from hell diminish the relationship that we had and lives that we built.

I accept that my marriage is over, but I don't regret living through it.

[NDY]

W

Makes me sad the past 11 years are overshadowed by the past year of pain she has inflicted.

That's up to you to decide.

Nothing my wife does today or in the future can take away the joy of our wedding, our first house, the birth of our children. Nothing she does can undo the celebrations we attended the friendships I made, and all of the wonderful feelings that I associated with our connection. Whether she wants to believe it or not, that all still exists.

We gave more than fifteen years of our lives to each other, and I'm not going to let these few months from hell diminish the relationship that we had and lives that we built.

I accept that my marriage is over, but I don't regret living through it.

That is perfect.

[Kembo05]

I love that perspective azzork, thanks for that. I'll never forget that

[Kembo05]

So I made a judgment call and went ahead and said something to her about knowing about PA. I don't know why it was eating at me, but it just felt like an elephant on my chest. She obviously didn't say much and I kept it pretty short and simple. I wasn't trying to make her feel guilty or shame her I just wanted her to know that I knew. I honestly don't think she knew that I knew so I think it kind of blindsided her, but for me it was important to let that be known. I think she could have gone on for the rest of her life lying to me about it and also being OK with that information being hidden.

The hard part for me now is being cordial to her. I'm not rude or hateful. I just don't want to see or talk to her at all. Which is impossible because of our D2. I just can't believe the destruction and pain she has caused and the complete selfishness
I don't dwell on it, but from time to time I think about her she has shown throughout this whole ordeal. I try to have a PMA and honestly I am doing OK I just don't want to come across to her as being upset, sad, disappointed, or angry. I want her to see me happy, even if I am faking it when she is around. Any advice from anyone?

I don't dwell on it but I think from time to time about her partially blaming me for some of this. I know I was never a perfect husband but I take zero blame for her stooping this low. Sorry, just had to vent a little bit there.

[NDY]

I want her to see me happy, even if I am faking it when she is around. Any advice from anyone?

Fake it till you make it. There isn't any other way. That's why we GAL. Helps with the PMA.

[Kembo05]

I have definitely been GAL and I am fine when she isn't around, its just when she shows up to drop off D2 or pick her up I just get pissed.

I'm not letting her affect me unless she is around, I still have to work on being positive around her.