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A Message from Michele
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Cadet's Work thread #2577945
06/13/15 12:53 PM
06/13/15 12:53 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,983
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,983
NY
I am starting a thread that anyone can use if they want to post to me.

I have one idea in mind that I want to work on in this thread and that is to create a Newcomer's Resource thread.
Once I create this thread I will lock it and I will be the only one to post on it, I am not sure that it will be stickied or not - however it will be linked in my welcome post, which for the moment I will list out here.

______________________________________________________

Welcome to the board

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy (DR) book by MWD
http://www.mcssl.com/store/mwdtc2014/
http://divorcebusting.com/sample_book_chapters.htm

Michele's articles
http://www.divorcebusting.com/articles.htm

You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts
(for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support).
Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active,
and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down.
Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come!
Most important - POST!

Get out and Get a Life (GAL).

DETACH.


Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:

I would start with Sandi's Rules
A list of dos and don'ts for the LBS (left behind spouse)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553072#Post2553072

Going Dark
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post5095

Detachment thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538414#Post2538414

Validation Cheat Sheet: Techniques and tips on how to validate (showing your walk away spouse (WAS) that you recognize and accept his or her opinions as valid, even if you do not agree with them)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457566#Post2457566

Boundaries Cheat Sheet
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2536096#Post2536096

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553153#Post2553153

For Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife by sandi2
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2545554#Post2545554

Resource thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...224#Post2578224

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483574#Post2483574

The Lighthouse Story
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2484619#Post2484619

Your H or W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.
USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon

______________________________________________________


Last edited by Cadet; 04/15/16 04:13 AM.

Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Cadet] #2578224
06/14/15 01:23 PM
06/14/15 01:23 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,983
NY
Cadet Offline OP

Member
Cadet  Offline OP

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,983
NY

Last edited by Cadet; 06/25/19 10:21 PM.

Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Cadet] #2578238
06/14/15 03:03 PM
06/14/15 03:03 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hello Cadet, welcome to your work thread! It struck me recently that it may be helpful to have a 'recommended books' thread - of course with MWD's excellent offerings at the top. But many of us have found other books dovetail in really well and support the DB approach.

The other thing that I thought is that many newcomers find the GAL aspect challenging, and I wonder if it might be useful to have a GAL resource area too?

I think you're doing a great job as moderator BTW... smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Sotto] #2578269
06/14/15 06:45 PM
06/14/15 06:45 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,428
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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job  Offline

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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,428
Southern Maryland
Toots,
We have a recommended reading thread over in MLC which might prove helpful to not only you, but others. Every one is welcome to add to it.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483893#Post2483893

Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: job] #2578279
06/14/15 07:25 PM
06/14/15 07:25 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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Posts: 5,301
Very useful - thank you!!


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Sotto] #2578326
06/14/15 11:22 PM
06/14/15 11:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,852
UK
V
Vanilla Offline
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Vanilla  Offline
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,852
UK
Love this resources idea

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Sotto] #2578328
06/14/15 11:25 PM
06/14/15 11:25 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
Midwest
B
Bob723 Offline
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Bob723  Offline
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B
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
Midwest
Hello Cadet,

I am with Toots and V -- I love this idea. Great job!

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Bob723] #2578334
06/14/15 11:36 PM
06/14/15 11:36 PM
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 104
G
gr8ful3 Offline
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gr8ful3  Offline
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 104
Cadet,

This is a great idea. Because there is so much information on all of the different threads, it is sometimes difficult and time consuming to find specific information. It would be nice for it to be complex in one area. I had recently asked for some book references and because I'm relatively new on this site, did not know there was already a place to go to look for this info.

I also agree with Toots that maybe a section on GALing would be helpful. I have also noticed some video references in some threads.

Thank you for taking the time to put this together. The information and advice you provide is always incite full.

Gr8ful3


Me: 53
H: 54
M: 31


Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: gr8ful3] #2578431
06/15/15 04:16 AM
06/15/15 04:16 AM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 557
B.C. Canada
K
Karma12 Offline
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Karma12  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 557
B.C. Canada
Great idea! Love it!


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Re: Cadet's Work thread [Re: Sotto] #2578528
06/15/15 04:20 PM
06/15/15 04:20 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,983
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,983
NY
Originally Posted By: Toots
I thought is that many newcomers find the GAL aspect challenging, and I wonder if it might be useful to have a GAL resource area too?

I think this is a great idea, anybody know of any good threads that exist here about this?
Or Toots maybe you want to start a thread on the subject.
I am hoping Mr. Bond will contribute since I think he has a different definition of GAL than me.

Also looking for any older threads that are not on the list so far, about any good subjects.
Or any other threads that posters have read that helped them out.


Me-65, D32,S31
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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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