I'm sorry you're here Mike...and I totally feel you. My strength that kept me going during my dark times a few mths back were my kids. Find strength in your S, focus on being the best dad you can ever be. And do try to list down some GAL activities that you can do.
Also the other thing that I do when I'm feeling down is to read the success stories in here. It keeps me going and fills me with hope again.
If I talk to family about this and they don't really know yet that we are having serious issues won't that make it harder for my wife if she comes back?
If I talk to family about this and they don't really know yet that we are having serious issues won't that make it harder for my wife if she comes back?
I think it is best to pick out one trusted person to talk to, other than that leave others out of it, IMHO. They are likely to give you bad advice and just want to see you out of PAIN!
Well we exchanged emails today and I feel I said what needed to be said. She emailed first and then I replied I received a text back after my reply stating that she needed time to process what was in my email because it wasn't what she was expecting. Not sure if that's good or bad...I'll try to post updates if any.
A few more exchanges and what it boils down to is she is a different person now and not the same person I married. We have no common interests and never did all of this is according to her. She changed for me when we got married apparently and now wants to be herself again. I don't get how this is all justified in her head?!?!
Anyway I've asked for a week of no contact with me taking all responsibility for our son. It's going to be a good week but I'm not sure it's going to help her come around and see how foolish a decision this is.
"Anyway I've asked for a week of no contact with me taking all responsibility for our son. It's going to be a good week but I'm not sure it's going to help her come around and see how foolish a decision this is."
Hi Mike, it would probably be a DB first if it did! NC is used more for your own sanity and wellbeing really. Very few WAS 'come around' at such an early stage in the sitch. It tends to take months, if not longer. So please don't have any expectations in this area. Do, however make the most of the peace of NC and take the time to regroup and give yourself a little TLC.
Hope it's a good week for you!
T :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
The NC is good in that it gives you the space and freedom to start your DB journey. So I'd recommend you stop having these conversations with your W checking on the state of your M. I'd START DBing - set goals, identify 180s, GAL, etc.
Mike, What was your relationship like before this, while you were dating, married before your child, then after the birth of your child? How much time did you spend just the two of you? Did you go out together without your child?
WAW spouses tend to rewrite history. While I'm sure that there are people that get married without being in love, I'm figuring that she WAS in love with you when you got married. Sometime after that, you probably stopped doing the things together that kept you close, and her love for you faded.
How did you deal with disagreements? Were you guilty of having angry outbursts? Did you speak to your wife disrespectfully at times (poking fun at her, being sarcastic, not considering her point of view, etc)?
When you are looking at what a 180 should be for you, these are some of the points that you should consider.
