Inside my chrysalis 11

[Ss06]

Previous thread!

The last thread was one of serious growth and stability for me.

I've had a couple days of setbacks but not 10,000 steps back, just 2-3 and just inside myself, not necessarily on my sitch... Which is unchanged anyways so...

I want to get back where I was... Grounded, solid, strong, clear in thought, detached, etc.

I had a terrible day with D. I mean TERRIBLE. It really shook me to the core and has me all worked up. We were having a GREAT January as far as her behavior goes... And just when I start to lean back and think we've turned a corner... A day like today happens. OMG.

So, tomorrow starts my recommitment to building myself into who I want to be. I'm finding I'm ok with doing the internal work but not so good at the external work, the dream chasing (do I have dreams?), the signing up for courses, the acquiring of the job I want/need. I'm stuck in that department.

Really stuck there.

I want to thank you all for your support and guidance. Really.

[Ss06]

[censored].

I just discovered something on Facebook and caught WAH red-handed. I can't explain right now, my head is still spinning. I'm not sure what to do. He doesn't know that I know. Given the magnitude of what this implies, I'm handling myself very well. Not one tear. Yet.

I never want to see WAH again nor hear his voice ever again. I want to vomit.

[raliced]

OW?

[Ss06]

OW?

Possibly many OW.

[raliced]

Sorry Ss. I wish I could say I was surpised - but there sure don't seem to be be many WAH stories where there isn't an OW in the mix somehow.

There's nothing I can say to make it better - it's just awful at first.

(((Ss06)))

[gan]

Oh no, Ss. I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you.

[Karma12]

It's so hard to be caught off guard. I was and it really hurt. Just remember this is all about him. You can't fix him,. Big hugs (())

[gan]

Ugh...I hope you've managed some sleep, Ss. Your news has left me feeling anxious over here. I was really hoping that you and I wouldn't go the way of so many others on here with our ~6 month WAH sitch. I'm so sorry.

I didn't know what you liked, so I went out and got us some chocolate and dark ale Hugs again.

[stacey9]

I'm sorry too Ss, hope you're ok xx

[claire7]

Thinking of you Ss. Hang in there. Remember what a Rockstar you are.