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A Message from Michele
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Re: Separation Hell. [Re: MrBond] #2534092
02/03/15 11:22 PM
02/03/15 11:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
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Loli04 Offline OP
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Loli04  Offline OP
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Yes, unfortunately years of deployments caused a lot of bitterness between us and we were both pretty mean to each other, albeit many times it was without even thinking. I wish I would have realized much of this sooner. At this point all I can do is change on my end and hope he will change his mind. I have noticed some positive changes in him too, specially with our daughter. I've made sure to sincerely praise him for it and he seems to love it. Hopefully it won't be too little too late.

Re: Separation Hell. [Re: susana4] #2534107
02/04/15 12:12 AM
02/04/15 12:12 AM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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MrBond Offline
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"a lot of bitterness between us and we were both pretty mean to each other, albeit many times it was without even thinking."

Actually, the two of you knew what you were saying to each to push each others buttons. Of course, you two did that because of both of your insecurities. Someone had to "win". I'm glad to hear that you're working on it. slow and steady. Get him to trust in you again.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Re: Separation Hell. [Re: MrBond] #2534193
02/04/15 10:41 AM
02/04/15 10:41 AM
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Loli04 Offline OP
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Maybe made a mistake, I'm not sure. Last night my D4 cried herself to sleep asking about her daddy and saying how much she misses and loves him. This really gutted me. Not only does it bring to the forefront howixh I miss him myself but it vividly illustrates how my failures are affecting her and will continue to affect her. Well I couldn't help myself. I sent my husband a text

"I'm not sending this text with the intention of making you feel bad so please don't take it that way. Isabelle was crying tonight as I put her to sleep wanting to know when she was going to see her daddy, she was saying she misses and loves you very much. I do appreciate all your effort in calling her and spending time with her, I understand work is hectic, but if you could find anyway to spend a few hours with her during the week I'm sure it would help."

I hope he doesn't interpret it as me trying to guilt trip him. He didn't respond.

Re: Separation Hell. [Re: Loli04] #2534196
02/04/15 10:50 AM
02/04/15 10:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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MrBond Offline
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MrBond  Offline
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Next time, ask your D if she wants to talk to daddy. Then if she does, go ahead and call your H. You don't have to be on the phone, just let her talk.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Re: Separation Hell. [Re: MrBond] #2534308
02/04/15 05:30 PM
02/04/15 05:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 20
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Loli04 Offline OP
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Thing is she had just face timed with him earlier in the evening. The hardest part of this is how it's affecting her and it angers me that he isn't as affected by it as I am because he doesn't see it.

Re: Separation Hell. [Re: Loli04] #2534325
02/04/15 06:12 PM
02/04/15 06:12 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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MrBond Offline
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Then you shouldn't have replied back to him after. When you do, it does seem like you're guilting him.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Re: Separation Hell. [Re: MrBond] #2534559
02/05/15 05:24 AM
02/05/15 05:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 20
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Loli04 Offline OP
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Loli04  Offline OP
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He came by tonight for about two hours to spend time with our D. I was really pleased and told him how much I appreciate him making her a priority. So I'm really happy about that. Totally confused though by how gropey he was. I'm utterly confounded, supposedly we don't have sexual chemistry but he kept staring and trying to grab at body parts and hugging and squeezing hips. The more this goes on the more I think his reasons were a big pile of b.s.

Unless he's just trying to get some until whatever he's looking for comes around... Weird!

Re: Separation Hell. [Re: Loli04] #2534564
02/05/15 06:00 AM
02/05/15 06:00 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 63
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Vince H Offline
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Vince H  Offline
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Posts: 63
Originally Posted By: Loli04
Unless he's just trying to get some until whatever he's looking for comes around... Weird!

That is probably the correct assumption.


Me:39 Her:35
Daughter: 6
Married: 11
Together: 13
D-day: 5.7.14
She left: 1.26.14
Status: Separated
Re: Separation Hell. [Re: Vince H] #2534745
02/05/15 07:52 PM
02/05/15 07:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 20
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Loli04 Offline OP
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I figured as much, he sure isn't acting very nice about this whole thing. At least he's being responsible towards our D so I'll take that.

Re: Separation Hell. [Re: Loli04] #2535260
02/07/15 12:31 AM
02/07/15 12:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 20
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Loli04 Offline OP
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Loli04  Offline OP
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Having one if those days where I just want to tell him to file for divorce already if that's what he really wants. I know for some people it drags on for years but come on already. It's going on 3 months since he dropped the bomb. He seemed so sure that's what he wanted, what is he waiting for. This is exasperating.

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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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