Well, it's been a while since I posted, and longer since I had a thread. While so many of you are still struggling with the hurtful and destructive aspects of MLC behaviour I wanted to share some of the lighter moments with you, which shows how crazy they can remain.
My xh left me in 2005 and was a mean one, and for a long time I was a quivering wreck. I got better!
Then in 2013 he started suing me (three years post divorce). Just before Christmas this year (having comprehensively p.o'd his lovely children (all grown up and flourishing)) I got a long meandering and slightly threatening email threatening to re-start the legal action, and trashing my legal advisers. And another on January 2nd. It was sooooooo ludicrous that I laughed out loud, and such an obvious bid for attention.
I amiably replied 'Happy New year' and hoped he was well and happy, but had nothing to say on the legal issues (on my lawyer's advice) And went away for the weekend.
I cam back to this. I kid you not. Nothing I have written to him could reasonably be interpreted to mean this
Quote:
In our most recent non-financial/legal exchange(23-27 August 2013 - worth another look!), you made it clear that (roughly) you want me in your bed or out of your life. I think that's deplorable, and I continue to want something in between (for our children's sake as well as for ours). But I respect your feelings and your decision to demand all or nothing at all. I guess if you ever change your mind, you'll get back to me.
I laughed for about ten minutes- the poor old thing wants attention after all this time (he got married last year btw!)
This is the gist of my reply
Quote:
"you want me in your bed or out of your life. " ???? It certainly wasn't my intention to convey that particular alternative, although it made me laugh out loud when I read it today. As well as rendering me temporarily wordess, which is rare.
I had no idea that your head was in that particular blind alley!
It is true that I only want relationships (by which I mean family and friends as well as lovers) with people who are kind, loving and fun. Otherwise not interested, because I don't have to be.
If you consider my behaviour deplorable you might need to think about getting out more, but I am rather enjoying being thought badly behaved.
Hi Bea! Well, he has completely lost the plot! I guess we need to go back to calling him Bunny Fo Fo! LOL!
I never doubted that the poor soul wanted attention and he's not getting it from you and he's still struggling to get it. Oh, yes, he's a crazy one for sure. The less you interact w/him, the better.
I do hope that you and your family have a much better new year than the last one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Job, he is certainly crazier - his emails don't bother me these days, but quite how he came to the conclusion that I wanted him back I am not sure . . . . . where did that one come from? I certainly don't waste my time re-reading old emails from him, even if I could find them.
And thank you, we had a great Christmas, and a lovely New Year. Son no 2 is now seriously dating my third son's wife's best friend!! (If you follow me) Keeping it in the family more or less.
The good thing is that although I will always be sad my marriage didn't last, I know that I am truly better off without him in my life
Hi bea! Wow, "in your bed or out of your life". Seems he has a high opinion of himself that he really thinks after all he's put you and your kids through, not to mention the fact that he's M to someone else, you would have anything at all to do with him let alone sleep with him! And this all started in 2005? He is the one that wanted to end the M and yet 10 years later he is still this angry at YOU?
I wonder what his new W thinks about his obsession with getting attention from you? I can't imagine being M to someone who is that obsessed with their Ex!
Thanks for that post bea! Just shows how crazy these MLCers are and that, in the end, I'd rather be the LBS than to be as crazy as they are!
Hi Matt, yes that is partly why I shared this. I really like my life, even if it isn't the one I wanted and imagined.
Also because we were married to them for so long, we listen to what they say long after we would do if it were anyone else saying and doing this stuff.
I haven't altered a word of that email. The previous one was just as strange, and very rambling.
I don't think he realises his obsession. I didn't realise his obsession - my lawyer told me, my friends told me, and I still didn't get it.
Weird thing is, I am sorry for him - he has made a terrible mess, and still doesn't get it. I have been hurt, angry (and absolutely enraged!), jealous, and very very sad. Now I feel calm, grown up and compassionate. I still think he is an idiot, but he has in the end hurt himself more than anyone else.
Thanks for posting. I laughed outloud too:-). Glad you and the boys are doing well! Happy New Year!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Bea, The more I think about the comment he made to you: "in your bed or out of your life", makes me think he's still thinking of you out there waiting for him. Poor man, time has actually stood still for him and he thinks that you are right where he left you many years ago, i.e., wanting to work things out and have him come home. This just goes to show how we can continue moving forward and they are in a time warp.
Well, all I can say is that when he does wake up, he's in for a very rude awakening because you and your family have moved on and nothing has stayed the same while he's been on the Mother Ship.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
. 
