I wish I was coming back here with some good news, but unfortunately fate has another plan for me.
The last time I was here my wife had said she wanted a divorce, had moved out, and started dating a guy less than a couple of weeks after she moved out.
First of all, there have been a few flare-ups since then and there have been setbacks and huge hurdles to cross. Mentally mainly. But for the most part, the last couple of months with her and I have been pretty good in terms of us getting along, co-parenting, etc. I had someone come into my life (we have a mutual friend and she's also going through a divorce) in late-September and we dated until around Thankgiving. It was actually very good but the timing just wasn't going to work with us. After all, we were both still married.
But my W has completely moved on. We have been working with an attorney on a dissolution. It's pretty fair for the most part. I'm worth way more than her and she's asking for less than she probably could (to her credit I guess). We doing sharing parenting which we both wanted so that came pretty easily. Ultimately, the business end of things was pretty smooth. We had a good joint Christmas with the kids even though she was kind of reserved a bit (really, we both probably were). We wanted to wait until after the holidays to make the appointment to sign the D paperwork. That day is tomorrow.
They say it isn't over until it's over. But I'm pretty certain it's over for her. She's still dating the guy she was dating back over 4 months ago. Her and I have casually chatted about him and she knew about the girl I was seeing. She still hides him from every other person in the world though it seems. He's never met her parents (or my kids). She didn't take him to her company Christmas party. She hasn't openly "acknowledged" him on Facebook or anything else. But she did tell me just this weekend that she loves him.
Do I really need to know anymore than that? I know the mantra "believe none of what they say, and half of what you see" is the way we're supposed to look at that. But that's a pretty big thing.
I haven't been needy or searching for ways to get her back. But I've also come out and said on a few occasions that divorce isn't what I want and that there isn't anything I wouldn't have done to save the marriage. It's tough because you want to act like it doesn't phase you and that you've moved on, but I'm not completely "done" with the marriage either.
And I'm also at a point where dating someone is what I want to do. I did it for a couple of months and it was going well. It just didn't feel completely right since I'm still married. Well, after tomorrow it pretty much makes those feelings moot. I feel like I'm ready. It was fun and exciting to do it there for a while and I was doing it for the right reasons.
It was a year ago yesterday that my W dropped the bomb. Never in my wildest dreams on 12/27/2013 would I have thought by the end of 2014, I will have signed divorce papers. It's amazing how quick things can spiral out of control.
Anyway, doing okay. Just a bummer. The blows don't have near the impact as they used to and some of them don't have an impact on me for more than a few minutes. I probably have 9 good days to every 1 bad day. It was pretty much in reverse earlier this year. lol.
Me: 33 W: 27 S: 5 D: 2 Bomb: 1/2/14 First Separation: 1/25/14 MC: 2/7/14 (one time only) Moved Back in: 3/31/14 W says she wants a divorce and moves out: 7/26/14 Appt to sign dissolution: 12/30/14
Needless to say I'm about ready to give 2014 the big middle finger in my rear view mirror. LOL.
Me: 33 W: 27 S: 5 D: 2 Bomb: 1/2/14 First Separation: 1/25/14 MC: 2/7/14 (one time only) Moved Back in: 3/31/14 W says she wants a divorce and moves out: 7/26/14 Appt to sign dissolution: 12/30/14
...... Now that's funny.....