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A Message from Michele
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Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: Wonka] #2536619
02/10/15 10:51 PM
02/10/15 10:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,174
Mid-Atlantic, USA
G
GoatGal Offline OP
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GoatGal  Offline OP
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G
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,174
Mid-Atlantic, USA
Well, I ain't gettin' any younger....

wink

Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: GoatGal] #2536635
02/10/15 11:17 PM
02/10/15 11:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,174
Mid-Atlantic, USA
G
GoatGal Offline OP
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GoatGal  Offline OP
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G
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,174
Mid-Atlantic, USA
Oh, and I think GUBU "wants" me on some level. He "wants" the parts that are useful and comfortable to him, and he wants to ignore/destroy/diminish the rest.

Because he's not "comfortable" with the whole me.

Unfortunately, it's kind of difficult to cut myself into pieces, physically or emotionally. Not that I'd want to try.

These are quotes from Steve Martin's Book/Movie: Shopgirl

“Only then does he realize what he has done to her, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both, and how he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.”

“...just remember, darling, it is pain that changes our lives.”

“For a while, she believes there will be a moment when he will cave in and let himself love her, but eventually she lets the idea go. She hits bottom. She dwells in the muck for several months, not depressed exactly, but involved in a mourning that at first she thinks is for him but soon realizes is for the loss of her old self.”

“As she sits in a booth, it never occurs to her to observe herself, and thus she is spared the image of a girl sitting alone in a bar on Saturday night. A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps within her, waiting to be stirred..."


Shoot, y'all. Just read the book.


---(G)GGG

Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: GoatGal] #2536639
02/10/15 11:45 PM
02/10/15 11:45 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 242
Michigan
L
LiveNow Offline
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LiveNow  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 242
Michigan
Glad to hear you are doing well GG. I have also found that I'm better when I don't dwell on this MLC cr@p, so I haven't done much of it either lately. I expect D to be final within a few weeks, so I guess this is the best way to be, given the circumstances! Thanks for checking in - we were getting worried! Keep living your awesome life!


Me 53, XH 57
M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids
BD June '13
H moved out July '13
Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14
H filed for D Nov. '14
D March '15
Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: GoatGal] #2536642
02/10/15 11:51 PM
02/10/15 11:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
M
Maybell Offline
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Maybell  Offline
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M
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
Nice recommendation.

I'm glad you've moved yourself this way. I admire your stamina and your perseverance. You have so much to be proud of. smile and I'm glad you value yourself enough to let go of GUBU.

But the next time you take a break pop in from time to time and say "Not dead!!"


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: Maybell] #2536995
02/11/15 07:54 PM
02/11/15 07:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,103
Texas
M
Matt165 Offline
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Matt165  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,103
Texas
Hey GGG(G),
So glad you are still with us! You had us worried. I must say I have been waiting for you to come to the realizations about GUBU you have now. It seemed so clear he just doesn't deserve someone as wonderful as you. We all try to hold on to the hope that our S's will come out of the fog and return to being the descent people they were before the MLC hit. I have and so have so many here. There comes a time when we must start to think of what is in OUR best interests. You are so much happier, more vibrant when he isn't around pretty much bringing you down. The MLCers seem to think of ONLY themselves 24/7. They expect, demand even that we LBS's bow to their wishes and look for reasons we are to blame for their own bad behavior. We know better. We know what a "normal" R is supposed to be like. There can be no R when one person can only think of ways to make themselves happy. A R takes give and take and while it doesn't always need to be 50/50, there has to be some give. GUBU can't give that much is very clear. If that's because of guilt or just because it doesn't matter to you. You deserve more. Not only that I'm sure there are many real men out there who would love the chance to have a healthy R with you! You can't waste your life waiting for someone who had the chance and threw it away.

It will be sad to say goodbye to your critters. I too am an aminal lover (don't think I would have made it this far without my dog there for me) and I know that will be hard. Just another thing we LBS's are forced to give up because of our S's MLC. You will be great GGG. You have grown so much in the time I have been on the board. Time to spread your wings and live your life for YOU!

Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: Matt165] #2537216
02/12/15 04:07 AM
02/12/15 04:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,202
US
B
BrightFuture Offline
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BrightFuture  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,202
US
GGG, it is always such a pleasure to read your updates. You make so much sense. I find myself thinking more clearly after reading your posts. I’m not kidding… You express what I’m straggling to express some times. I read your post and I think “bingo”, this is exactly how I feel.

I hope you come back to update us on your life once in a while.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: BrightFuture] #2537281
02/12/15 10:56 AM
02/12/15 10:56 AM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 58
S
sonas Offline
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sonas  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 58
Hey GGG,
so glad to hear from you! Just to know you are well and moving forward is wonderful, thanks for updating. I completely understand why you stayed off the boards, it was the same reason I stayed away for six months. It is too sad sometimes - to read posts by people trying so hard, trying everything while their spouses are interested only in themselves and don't seem to be concerned about the pain they are causing - their cruelty to the people who love them the most is so difficult to read about.

My H is living a 'half life' in each of his worlds. He has his life in Moscow exactly as he wants it - having his A but not living with her, has his own apartment, pretending to me that he is not in a R with anybody - making sure that everyone over there who may be in contact with me keeps his secret (we went to his business partner's apartment for dinner - he lives with a young woman and they have a new baby - I saw a message he sent to his business partner asking if his partner was 'primed' not to tell me anything. Also thanking for him for uninviting another work collegue because he might have said something to me after a few drinks - what alot of effort he went to to ensure I wouldn't find out something I already know!).

At this stage I just feel sorry for him and even for her. I have so much more than either of them will ever have, a loving family and children who care so much about me and miss me when I'm away - I am not fake, I am not a liar, I am not a cheater. During the course of the meal I received a phonecall from a client - my H said who is that, I told him it was John and he laughed for the benefit of those present saying 'wondering who John is?' big joke suggesting I might be having an A, they all laughed - but the joke was supposed to be on me, being the only one in the room that didn't know about his A - Yet, I was the only one in the room who knew they were all lying. How very sad for all of them but most especially for my H - what a way to live your life - lying, cheating and making jokes about it in the presence of your wife of 25 years and the mother of your children.

Sorry for hijacking GGG, but suffice to say, I think I am where you are now - sad for my H, but see no improvement, no desire to be a better person, no ability to be in a comnmitted loving R with me or even with her - while I am detached and know who I am. I would end it now if it was just about me but I need to protect our youngest for as long as I can.

Like you, I wonder if this is the way he always wanted our M - I am useful, a good mother who looks after his children well, someone who will listen to his endless critisim of others ('so and so is such a liar' - how often do I hear that, the irony seems to be lost on him), someone who makes him look better than he is. I do know there is a good person in there, capable of love but he doesn't love himself and has embraced his 'shadow self' to the full. I have heard it said that 'if you do not see your shadow you are not standing in the light' - he sees his shadow and has chosen to live in the dark with it.....................

Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: sonas] #2538092
02/13/15 08:50 PM
02/13/15 08:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
jim0987 Offline
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jim0987  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Hi GGG,

really glad you're ok, but as others have said dont leave it so long in future smile

sounds like you had a good chance to get your thoughts straight and really take stock of the good and the bad. I hope that your feeling as postive about you as you sound.

looks like an interesting book


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: jim0987] #2543216
02/28/15 08:42 AM
02/28/15 08:42 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline
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Vanilla  Offline
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
I love hearing from you and have glad great benefit from your own threads and the posts on others.

Your advice is wise too, GUBU will only think about the start to change if GGG moves on, then it is GGG with the choice.

Peace

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 02/28/15 08:45 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: The Goddess of Goats Dances Through the Solstice [Re: Vanilla] #2550357
03/23/15 09:05 PM
03/23/15 09:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
jim0987 Offline
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jim0987  Offline
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J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Hi Goatgal,

Don't know if you still check the boards at all but its been a while and I'm wondering how you're doing?

Hope all is good with you.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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