Thanks Georgia! Got a call this AM on my way to pick up D14 to take her to school. D19 called to ask about plans for Thanksgiving. She works in retail and they want her to come in at 7:30 TG night to get things set up for Black Friday (I think they may even open at midnight as so many places do now a days. He boyfriend won't be there so she wanted to know what the plans were. Thing is, according to what my W's lawyer sent my lawyer, W was supposed to have D14 for TG and I have her for X-Mass this year. But D14 told me that her mom has said that she may go see her father (alone) and that would leave her with me on TG. As I don't have ANY family but in-laws and my D's here I have no idea what plans my W had or if I was invited to the usual family thing we have done in the past. Well, my D19 doesn't drive so someone will need to pick her up (she lives about 40 miles from me and 70 miles from W) and get her back to town in time for her to get to work at 7:30! All I could tell her was that I have no idea what the plans are yet and she should talk to her mom about what she has planned.
At this D19 said that she hasn't had ANY contact with her mom (not even texts) in weeks and the few times she has tried she hasn't gotten any response from W. That is so sad but her R with her mom isn't my business and I need to stay out it! I did tell her that if her mom has plans for her and her sister and it excludes her being able to get back in time for work, I would pick her up and we would do TG together! I don't want her to be all alone on her first TG away from home! She said she would try to get in touch with her mom and let me know what is up. So, this morning I asked D14 if she had heard what W had planned for TG and she didn't know. D14 had told me at one point that her mother had told her she may go see her dad but D14 hasn't a clue. I told her that if her mom is going away then maybe her and I could go and pick up her sister and do TG just the 3 of us and she was cool with that.
TG was always my W's favorite holiday. She didn't like X-mass because of all the pressure to get gifts for everyone but TG was just everyone getting together for fellowship. I don't want my D19 to feel so left out of her own family and to be alone would just s@ck! Ugh! I just hate this. This kind of thing was something I never thought I would ever need to worry about but now the new reality is here with all the "who gets the kids when" crap that comes with D. Just another thing on the plate to worry about! Oh, and to give some indication of just how angry D19 is at her mom when I said her mom was supposed to get D14 for TG she said "Well, I'm over 18 and I get to choose where to go and who I want to spend my time with!" in a way that clearly said that she didn't want that to be her mom.
I think you handled that convo well with your 19D. And she is right, she can choose who to be with and she obviously wants to be with you. One of those sad things your W will have to live with and miss out on.
If I were you, go ahead and plan to be with 19D and if your W "leaves" your 14D, you just add her to your already wonderful plans
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Hey Ats, good to hear from you! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods! Has Clark turned back into Superman yet?
I was just thinking what you just said right before I read your post. I was thinking I need to text D19 and let her know that there is no way I'm going to allow her to be stuck all alone on TG. I know she is lonely and with her BF not around I really don't want her just having a TV dinner and going to work!
Thanks for stopping by and hope things are going well with you and Clark!
Think outside the box in regards to TG. Don't drive yourself crazy. Find out if you are going to have D14. If you are, maybe arrange to get her night before. Then you can suggest to D19 that you will make a TG dinner, pack it up and travel to her. Bring disposable dinner ware so there is little clean up and more time to relax and enjoy each others company. This way you all will have less stress. You can leave just before she leaves for work and have a leisurely drive home.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Later I get a text from W telling me that D14 is out of lunch money and wanting me to re-load her lunch card.
Way familiar in my case. Just be careful bro....it turns into other money needs as well and they'll leverage kids every chance so they feel better about themselves asking.
Good luck on interview! Wish you were closer to central TX since my company is looking for people to hire.
W-37 Me-37 M-16yrs & 5days W "Done" Day = Valentine Day 2014 D-8/13/2014 S16 S13 S11 D8
I just hate this. This kind of thing was something I never thought I would ever need to worry about but now the new reality is here with all the "who gets the kids when" crap that comes with D. Just another thing on the plate to worry about!
Same thing I'm going through. I haven't been invited to XW's family functions for 3-4 years, but she was always at my family's events so I never worried about it. Just go with the flow. Your kids obviously see what's happening same as mine so I've learned not to react when kids make comments. It keeps the head clear, heart open, and reduces any stress. Give it to God and His plan will unfold when the time is right.
Good Luck!
W-37 Me-37 M-16yrs & 5days W "Done" Day = Valentine Day 2014 D-8/13/2014 S16 S13 S11 D8
Hi Whytry, When you say central TX, do mean Austin? I live in a college town between Austin and San Antonio on I-35 (Hope that helps you know what town I'm talking about...hint, hint). I have worked in both Austin and now in San Antonio. While San Antonio is just a bit farther, with the awful Austin traffic it is easier and faster to get around. So, if the town is Austin, let me know what the company is, please. Thanks!
Well, had my interview today! I was really more nervous than I expected going in. It's been a long time since my last one. Got there early and it turned out it's right by the place my D14 went to camp the 2 summers before B-day. I met with the owner and I must say the whole interview went extremely well! It lasted close to 2 hours with much talking and it seemed like every answer I gave was the best answer he was looking for. I did explain about the sitch with my D14, having her every other week and that on those weeks I had to take her to school far south and that I wouldn't be able to get there until later on those weeks and he seemed to be very understanding about it. He wants me to come back and meet with the whole office staff next week and I do think, if that goes anywhere near as well as today did, I will be offered the job. I do have to take a course (on Internet) and pass that before I would start the job. It will cost $100 but he will reimburse me if I stay a month. He said that he has lost money paying for it and then having the person not stay and go use the lic. at another company so he doesn't pay up front. I can understand that. I just need to have the $100!
He did ask if I was looking at other places and I told him I was (another question that shows he has an interest in me) and also asked when I could start. I liked the guy. He is younger than I am but he is a family man and seems like he would be a nice person to work for. There is also opportunity for growth as well. All in all it went great. In the past I have always done well on job interviews. If I can get an interview, I can usually get the job. That's one of the reasons it's been so frustrating not getting any responses from the places that I sent resumes to. Good to know I still can do that well!
I got a text this afternoon from D14 asking how the interview went. That was so nice of her. When I told her where it was and that it went well she was very excited for me. She is such a great kid, I'm very lucky. So, I'm not going to stop looking since I haven't been offered the job and it will be a couple weeks before I would be able to start from when I take it since I have to take the course and all and I need to try and make some money in the meantime. On that note, I did sign up to drive for Uber and was accepted. I do need to clean out my car and get everything set up but I can hopefully give that a go this weekend and make SOME money. It could turn out to be fun doing that, who knows?
So, took a big step forward today. Need to keep moving in the right direction! Thanks to everyone who stopped by to give me encouragement, much appreciated!
