The "heavy" part of the convo ended and we spent the next 20 minutes shooting the sh!t and laughing (as we always do). (I just don't get how she doesn't see our connection.)
It appears that this isn't a connection for W. It is friendship. And you can't control that. And it probably isn't helpful to think an analyst or hormones or meds are going to change that.
You've told her you are there for her if she wants to talk. Now detach and let her take her journey. She knows where to find you.
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
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W still living at sisters. She doesn't want to be there. She wants her equity from house to get her own place.
Depression is still apparent.
She's made excuses to come home a few times.
She seems to always want to engage me in conversation and ask how I'm doing etc. I just act like the friendly neighbour. Otherwise I've stayed as dark as possible.Its possible she is cake eating-she has her independence now, but still wants to be my best friend.
One of her best friends told me she's not convinced this is what W wants. She said its possible W still wants to be fought for.
I'm not sure about this ^^^^ as W knows how I feel and she is very matter of fact when talking about getting her own place etc.
I worry because pre BD 3 years ago me not fighting for her, being emotionally distant etc was a big part of the problem. Saying that, I've been the exact opposite since then, which she recognizes, but still can't get her romantic feelings back.
She's mostly alone where she is and I know she's suffering. I fight the urge to want to help her, talk to her, and be with her.
We're dividing our time with D9 and S6 every other day. Its been hard.on both of us not being with the kids 100% of the time.
If/when I give her her equity I may not be able to afford our house by myself. W said she really hopes I can keep the house. She said she'll feel even more guilty if I have to sell.
Last edited by BC39; 10/08/1401:41 PM.
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
