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Joined: Sep 2014
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mandown Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Ahoy
mandown, my H did the same thing. Said he wanted out, initiated intimacy with me, took off his ring two days later and left to be with the OW. They are waffling in their minds and we are paying the price. Don't read anything into her intimacy with you. With my H, it didn't mean anything, apparently, and it certainly didn't make a difference.

If I were you, I would cut off intimacy though. She might be with OM and you don't want to risk an STD. You could just say, I think we should wait to be intimate at this time. When you pull away, it pulls her toward you. Just my two cents.


I know i should be extra cautious about it. I have been doing better at pulling away, I try to do things away from the house or not be home when she gets there and such.

I haven't really initiated intamcy ya know, its her. She knows this was a HUGE thing for me prior BD. It's hard for me to turn off that part of me with her.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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So this weekend passed and I spent most of it alone with the my boys. W spent some time with us on halloween, it was my S12's bday. Sat, she went told me towards the end of the day that she was spending the night at her friends house. Of course, I didn't want her to go, I asked her to stay with us. She said no. She then told me that she was going out Sunday again with her friend. I asked if she could stay with us and watch a movie at home or something. She is always gone every weekend.

I asked her once each time. When she said no, I left it alone. She did bait me into a R talk....I know, goes against DB'ing. She told me that in her mind, we are S....I replied with "our definitions of S are totally different. All I want is for you to not give up on me just yet." She replied with the usual, I'm not sure, I don't know story. The talk didn't last long. She said that she will save up money and move out. I told her that that's not what I wanted, but if she feel she must then I won't stop her.

When she got home last night, she asked if I wanted her to sleep upstairs, away from me. I replied with a no, I like having you next to me. I try my damnest to be a dgree of cold towards her, but when she is in front of me it's very hard.

I know I have stated thsis before, but I need to work on goig semi'dark. When my anxiety hits, I try to distract myself with somehting else. I tend to go around my kids to force me to no be soo sulky. I know it would not be wise for me to leave on a long term kind of deal. But, would it be a good idea to leave for a couple of weeks just to take the eadge off of things? I think that way my kids wouldn't be soo affected.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
M
mandown Offline OP
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M
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
Did the same ol' thing yesterday. Picked up S7, went home, cleaned up a bit(still putting away stuff from move), cooked dinner for me and W for the rest of the week. I didn't text her all day. She got home around 730, she ate dinner and carried on a lite convo about her day and such. She is upset about the location she moved to(she works and an ULTA as an esthetician, has very little clientel here).

We wrapped up the convo, I then saud to her I was going to the gym, I didn't ask her, or really give her a chance to rebuttal with a disapproval. She just said "oh,....ok" I left for about 2 1/2 hrs. While at the gym,a young kid hurt his knee while we were playing bball and i posted something about it on FB. She texted me right away and asked if I hurt myself. Is that a good thing? Is she concerned for me?

When I returned home, she was not there. Right away, I though "oh hell, where could she be?!" After a few mins of wallowing in anxiety, I found myself washing the dishes and telling myself, "it doesnt matter where she is, theres nothing you can do about it, just shower and goto sleep."

She came home shortly after, and she had gone to the frocery store for a few things....Ugh, why am I such an over worried wreck right now. After we layed down, she played on Instagra, for a few mins, the she started to goto sleep. She turned over very close to me and said goodnight(I told my self I wasn't going to say it 1st) I replied and went to sleep.

In the morning, I woke up, got my stuff together, came back in the room and.....against my concious telling me not to, I went to her side of the bed and kissed her on the forehead and said "I'm leavin now" She replied with "I lover you, have good day"

I haven't spoken to her since, I am not going to initiate communication. When she get's home, I thougth about asking her if she wanted to goto the gym with me this evening(not in a lets's workout together way, but in a I'm going to the gym,do you want to come along kind of way), she loves going to the gym. Would that be considered pursuing?


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
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