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Joined: Oct 2005
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that's incredibly stressful to be living in the same house. I lived with my ex for four months waiting for the SA to be completed. My reasoning for staying was that I wasn't going to take any chance of being seen as the abandoning parent. So I stayed and it was tough. My heart goes out to you and let's pray this is resolved quickly. All you can do is take care of you in such situations...it's paramount.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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I don't want to leave the house as it is considered abandoning everything. I also would have to do it all of the sudden,which would hurt the kids even more. At least this way I can get more information on h.

I am sure this is going to take awhile. I predict a custody battle. I am hoping my lawyer can get primary custody for me, sole would be great. If h continues to be wacky I will fight for sole. Lately the way he looks at me scares me.

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kml Offline
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H probably doesn't want to leave the house for the same reason. So talk to your lawyer and see if there is some way you can offer H a deal that says something to the effect that you acknowledge that by him leaving the house, he's not giving up any rights to the house?

Really, for your health (and possibly safety) you need to figure out a way to get him out of there.

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scooby Offline OP
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H claims it is BC of the kids. I know it is the $$$ and he has no place to go. Ow works with him and that would be a violation of work policy. I will ask my lawyer though. I never thought to give him an offer, thanks for the suggestion.

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Hello Scooby. Expect the worst. Expect the worst. Expect the worst. I'm sorry but I read things that mirror my own sitch. Seven years post bomb it's still getting worse.

It's good you have a lawyer. You may not be able to get him out of the house but you say it's a community property state. Doesn't that mean if you leave he will have to compensate you for your share of the equity? Is the house free and clear? If not, is the financing in both your names? Can you or he qualify for the amount needed alone?


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
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scooby Offline OP
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Everything is in both names. We are heading into mediation. We will see how that goes. I want as much custody as I can get.

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job Offline
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Good luck!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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kml Offline
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Remember, this part is just business - keep the emotion out of it. Strictly a business negotiation.

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