Just had a splendid weekend with the children. Good times!
NW and her mother was on a small trip this weekend and stopped in for coffee Sunday evening. Her mother only stayed for 45 min but NW slept here – still in guest room as a friend. Ds were so pleased to see her and S11 got to meet her for the first time.
Tomorrow NW, her son, me and S11 goes bowling. It is all still as friends but children are not stupid and off course they can see or feel something. It will be both mine and S11s first meetup with NWs son. I look forward to this but I am also a bit nervous since a lot is at stake now.
I had a long talk with shrink last week about NW and NW meeting my children and vice versa. She gave me some tips and then she explained about couples meeting up again after a long time. She thinks it is normal that things go rather quickly when there has been a connection earlier on in life. We had a good talk about my life in general and the major shift I have experienced in my focus over the past 4-5 months. She seems pleased with the way I handle myself and life in general.
While NW and I seems to get a little closer every day – XW and I seems to drift further apart. Communication is solely about children, it is objective and short but still 100% pleasant and nice. She has pointed out that the children’s need to know about me and NW before they hear anything and I agree. Still I have no rush as only a few close people knows. I am good with the way things are now!
HWA, Thanks for stopping by Always good to hear from you!
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
I haven't been on in a while because my workload at school is too heavy but I was dismayed to read of NW,and of children meeting her already. I know it is not my place to judge, I was just very surprised. I always felt that W was giving you many signals that she wanted to work things out but you weren't picking up on them or were still in the original "must detach" mode. As for the children wanting you to be 'in love' with her, it most likely isn't HER but the fact that it gives them some semblance of a family. Your children are still hurting from your split and it is soon to be having NW spend the night when they are there. Even if she is in another bedroom, children are much wiser than we think.
F, you are so right, along with many others before us. The WAS expect the future to be so much better for them was they have walked. How wrong most of them are. They view leaving us as being the only answer to their happiness, they don't work on themselves, and so much later they feel lost, unhappy and mindreading, wondering what happened.
This is very interesting to me and I hope it doesn't leave you feeling 'justified' with your decision. I am not saying you need to feel either way but this statement says "The WAS was wrong. They thought they could it find it better elsewhere and they can't". If you really understand a WAS, yes, they feel this way but typically only after suffering for a long time from the negligence of the LBS, who wouldn't respond to their needs if they were dancing naked in front of them.
I am glad you are happy but please go slow and know what you are getting into. As someone else pointed out, you are feeling what the WAS feels when they have an A, or anyone is in a new relationship. I also agree with your friend who pointed out that they didn't think it was fair that you finally made the changes your W longed for and then she didn't even get a chance to experience them.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13