Just got remarried in november. I have 3 sons, she has 3 daughters and 1 son. Her son is in the coast guard and would not be living with us. I told her that if we wanted to get married we either have to live in 2 houses or move up by me. I have my 3 sons every sat, sun, mon. I have to get them to school on mondays and tuesdays plus they are in many sports. Moving 45 min. away would not work. She acquiesced and decided to move up by me. Her oldest daughter would finish her senior year and stay with her dad. So she moved up by me with her soph. highschool daughter and 6th grade daughter. I could not afford to buy a new house prior to move in so we had to live in the house that I had with my exwife.
Well, 3 weeks in her soph daughter has a breakdown about dealing with the new school. She let her go back and live with her dad. So now it is my new wife, her 6th grade daughter with my 3 sons.(this was 9 months ago) She hated living in the house, so we just moved out to a new house to get a fresh start just last week.
She has told me that she is resentful of me and my boys for everything that has happened. She moved up by me and lost her daughter in the process. She blames me for all the bad decisions. She is constantly on the warpath about a clean house. I am dong the best I can to ensure my sons pick up keep the house clean, but with 3 teenage sons, it is a constant battle.
Nothing I have done or said makes a difference. Nothing I do is ever good enough. One week she is OK, the next she will be a million miles away. I can't say sorry enough for the past. She is mad at herself for falling in love with me and letting all this happen with her daughter. She feels horribly guilty that her daughters are no longer in the same house.
I am the feeler in the relationship. I am the placater. It has become the parent child relationship lately. If the house isn't to her liking, there is hell to pay. She has admitted that it is her resentment of the past that drives her anger. It has been 9 months since her daughter left. She is more angry today than 9 months ago. She says she doesn't know if she can ever get over the anger and resentment as to what she gave up vs. what I gave up for the marriage.
We have started counseling, but she is still reluctant. She says she doesn't want a divorce and still loves me. But I am so tired of being yelled at every day. I can do 9 things right and one thing wrong. And she will focus on the wrong thing. I just wanted peace, love, and happiness in a 2nd marriage. It has been anything but that....
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
