Thanks Ye21 and zew..W said I am a sociopath too ..ill have to google that since i dont really know what it is. Tomorrow night she said she has dinner with a client ...i said when will you be home cause I might then go out for a bit. She says don't plan on it cause she will be out late. Well client dinners are only a couple hours so I know she's out after client meeting with OM or one of her divorced girlfriends/enablers ...really bums me out how she associates with them ..but again...nothing I can do about it.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
Thanks Ye21 and zew..W said I am a sociopath too ..ill have to google that since i dont really know what it is. Tomorrow night she said she has dinner with a client ...i said when will you be home cause I might then go out for a bit. She says don't plan on it cause she will be out late. Well client dinners are only a couple hours so I know she's out after client meeting with OM or one of her divorced girlfriends/enablers ...really bums me out how she associates with them ..but again...nothing I can do about it.
Yes actually you can do something, NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO HER INSULTS , your self steem its low and you will doubt about who you are everysingle time, dont listen to those words.
Another thing you can and should do its stop asking her about what she does or when she is coming home, its pretty clear in the sand rules and LRT, go back to stick to those now, not tomorrow, now in this exact minute.
She doesnt come home? Dont give a f, do you make enough money? If you do and tou want to go out start planning your life like your W doesnt exists at all, hire a babysitter or leave the kids with your family members, you know why she is doing what she is doing? Because she has no complications, you are playing the non aceptance game and still doing things subscontiently to gain her back, well that doesnt work, you want to go out just do it, there are thousands of single parents out there who are able to live a life and have their kids well taking care so if they can do it why you cant? You want her to respect you? Well, when are you gonna start respecting yourself?
I know you are suffering and it hurts but lets do something for you because thats what you want not because it will have consequences with her, she is a human being let her realize her own consequences, you are not responsible of showing her that....
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
When you put these words together, you are saying something. Maybe subconsciously, but think about this. Remember that it takes only one person to D. Most of the fine people on this board are really trying not to D, but many will end up or already are D'd. I have nothing but respect for the people on this board who are working very hard, perhaps in vain, to avoid D. Do not be quick to judge her "divorced girlfriend" for you may not know her story.
And the reason your W talks to enablers is because they listen to her without judgment.
Don't you wish your wife was as comfortable talking to you as she is her "divorced girlfriends/enablers". Perhaps we should be more like them.
Don't mean to come down on you hard, but I used to think this way too, and found that all that judgmental stuff wasn't getting me very far.
Haven't posted in a few days because not much going on. I guess that's a good thing ...busy GAL and doing my own thing. W is doing her thing and we have both been cordial. She actually came home last night right after her dinner meeting and told me all about it..i just listened. W is still moody though ...Saturday night she went crazy on me after getting home at 2am from the casino ..telling me she "makes more money than me, is more successful than me, does more around the house and for the kids then me ...". I may consider her more successful in her career but as for the other stuff I disagree but did not say that to her - walked away and went bed. Tomorrow is our first trip to court for the divorce ...Early intervention they call it and some program we need to go to because of the minor children. I hope everything goes ok. Thanks everyone for your support.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
W is still moody though ...Saturday night she went crazy on me after getting home at 2am from the casino ..telling me she "makes more money than me, is more successful than me, does more around the house and for the kids then me ...".
Was she responding to something you said to her?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think i mentioned taxes due and that I needed money to pay them.
Anyway ...went to friend of court today and everything wife told me about 50 50 split of custody of kids was a big lie. She wants me to get kids two weekends a month. Don't feel like getting in to details now as I am so bummed. I have a feeling it's going to get ugly. I told her I want to alternate weeks with her. I got a "cheaper" lawyer because she told me would be amicable split but she got a big shot attorney and now I'm going to have to work to not get screwed ..all I care about is getting even time with our kids.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
You need a lawyer who will fight for father's rights. Does your state not have the 50/50 child custody? Are you just depending on your W and her lawyer to tell you what you can have? Don't accept it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That may be like skimping on a second rate surgeon. You need someone who knows your rights as a father and can fight for you.
Have you checked to see what the court usually gives dad's for co-parenting? Don't just accept whatever she tells you. Do some research about child custody in your state. What does your lawyer say?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think i mentioned taxes due and that I needed money to pay them.
Wait, you came home at 2 a.m. from a casino and then said you need money to pay your taxes? Do you work at the casino or were you gambling? This is confusing.
