My attorney returned from her wedding/honeymoon and received an email from STBXW's attorney that STBXW is anxious to put this behind her. My L and I are sending over a settlement that I believe to be more than fair, including furniture from the house, her half of funds I saved for retirement during our 2 year marriage, and her half of the down payment on the house I intend to keep living in. I believe it's a fair settlement, and hopefully since she wants it over quickly, and going to court would drag this process on, she will give up her notion of keeping the house without paying me for it. Alternatively, if she does not agree, I would hope a counterproposal from her would at least pay me for my portion of the home equity so I can locate and procure another property.
STBXW stopped by while I was at work on Saturday to "check out the house and see how you've been taking care of it." She left a note saying she had been there and such. It was an odd feeling that came over me when I got the note. It was as if a stranger had been in my house. What did she look through? What did she touch? I had taken the time to put up the pictures of me and the dog having fun all over San Antonio, hiking and smiling. I also had pictures of myself up alone in new outfits, with new friends from work and meetups.
At this point, I have given her ample opportunity to reconcile, her actions demonstrate this is not a possibility. Divorce is inevitable. However DB'ing did help me find myself again. On the drive home from my meetup last night, with the windows down and the music pumping, I realized I feel alive again, and hopeful about the future.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Glad to hear that you feel alive & hopeful for the future. Same here. I hope the rest of this process goes better than expected for you, it's been a tough journey but you've handled it well and have become pretty awesome through it.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
At this point, I have given her ample opportunity to reconcile, her actions demonstrate this is not a possibility. Divorce is inevitable. However DB'ing did help me find myself again. On the drive home from my meetup last night, with the windows down and the music pumping, I realized I feel alive again, and hopeful about the future.
Kdog sounds like you're in a good state mind. I remember saying those words too. giving them every opportunity to work in the R and even offering a solution plan. We can't make anyone want to do the work.
Feel good about your efforts to save your M and keep moving forward.
Rip off that rearview mirror, that chapter is over.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I sent over what my lawyer says is an "unreasonably fair" offer to the point she almost made me sign an affidavit saying that it was above what the Lawyer deemed to be a fair settlement. We shall see what STBXW response is. I'm hoping she accepts so we don't have to go through mediation and/or court.
She entered the marriage in July of 2011 afer being unemployed with about $1k to her name. She would be leaving with about $75k in furniture, cash and retirement funds. I'd say that's pretty fair for 2 years of marriage in which I was the one who made the majority of the money.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
I'm doing as well as can be expected. I would imagine that my L will get a response from STBXW soon on our proposed settlement. I'm anxious because I'd rather not have to go to court, and my settlement will put me in a bit of a financial bind for a couple of years. I'll have to shuffle around a lot of money.
I went on a 9 mile crazy sock extravaganza meetup hike. I put "The Flash" socks on Kahlua (my dog) and everyone loved it! It was a good time, but I'm sore and paying for it today.
I've stopped going to the church where the ex inlaws went. I decided I need to find my own church that's closer to my house. Also, I do not want to run into them or the ex anymore so this will drastically reduce the chances of that.
How are things in your neck of the woods? Getting excited to move?
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
I think that's great you're looking into a new church. I hope you find one that is a perfect fit for you.
I'm ok. I am starting to burn out from working so much, I have accumulated a lot of PTO so I may have to use some of it soon and rest. But indeed I am excited to be moving, it's going to be a farther commute to work, but hopefully it will all be worth it!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
With your accumulated PTO, will you get paid out for it when you move? Are you staying within the same organization in a different place? That could be a nice parting check for moving expenses.
Still no word on if she accepted the proposed settlement. She has sent me 3 emails in the last few days. She finally did her part of the taxes. I haven't responded to the emails as of yet, not sure if I'm going to until I hear her response to my proposal. Divorce is awful. I'm having days where my emotions kind of take over again, since this will be my new reality. Working hard to just make room for the feelings and accept them for what I'm feeling at that time.
Still sober and still staying active though. So I've got that going for me.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Yes it's state law that they have to pay out PTO even if youre fired. When I quit previously I had 200+hrs accumulated lol. I dont plan on quiting again until I find a new job with a different organization. The one I work at is going down hill. So that will be a nice parting gift when the time comes
Keep working hard... I hope the day comes soon for you, where you can finally be off of the emotional rollercoaster for good. You have done a great job in changing your self for the better and stay in on a positive path...one day, doing so will pay off greater than you've ever imagined, I am sure of it!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
