You seemed to hear a lot of "you did" statements too. I got some of these...
"You ruined my happily ever after" "You ruined what I thought I wanted." "You caused me to lose my best friend." "You embarrassed me in the town I work in and went to school." "Your mother ruined any chance of me ever having a relationship with your family again."
And maybe my favorite - W has told me twice to get an attorney and told me two or three times, "I don't have an attorney." It's not like I have a lawyer." "I mean it's not like I have been researching or looking for an attorney."
___________________________________________________________ M: 32 W: 26 M 7 months, T 4 years M: 2nd M W: 1st M No kids
living separately 1/26/14 W files D 2/24/14 D final 4/28/14
W : we just don't get along. We're just not good together. We've tried MC. M: but they asked us to do work and to go out together once each week. W: I was busy. I don't see what thst has to do with it. We just live like roommates isn't thst whst you said? M: I asked you to go out and spend time together. W: I'm very busy..... Ugh
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I've had so many, but the one that immediately came to mind was
"I was content being married to you, but I wasn't happy."
It took all I had not to tell him to look up the meaning of that in the dictionary.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Two months after affair revealed and 5 minutes after getting back from 3 day business trip: ExW- " I want to go to New York for a few days" Me - "with who?" ExW - "why do you have to know??" Me - "we'll, the therapist said it is important to keep me in the know and build trust. also, we are supposed to reconnect. You convinced me to work this out and try therapy. Why don't we go to NYC together?" ExW - "NO.! i want yo go on my own. Me - "with who?" ExW - "just some friends. You don't know them" Me - "but I know all your friends, don't I?" "Who are they?" ExW - "I shouldn't have to tell you! I should have my privacy"
Then, two days later in therapy as the session start, the first words: ExW - "He won't let me go to New York!".
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
My ex was disgusted at her friend for walking out of his marriage. "They have a child and took vows!". Mind you we weren't married but we were engaged and living as common law. I guess it's different.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Wow 2ndtime...my exW said the exact same thing word for word about our friends and her sister. Within a year of both, she was doing it.
Then a month after that she says, "I want to renew our vows". Then after 10 months of therapy ends it so I asked her why she cried and said she wanted to renew vows, she responds harshly "because I just wanted to get you back for a bit to figure out what I wanted" . Wow.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Last Valentines Day (2013) my W emailed me to thank me for the dozen red roses I sent her. The problem was I didn't send her anything. Later in the day she texted me again, saying it was a parent (female) of one of her children she teaches, that sent them to her. Yeah right: the parent sent a teacher a dozen red roses on Valentines Day, anonymously as well, to thank her for the work she does with the parent's child. More than likely (yeah I know, mindreading) when she got out of work and drove home with the OW (female) she was probably asked where the flowers were. The W still thinking they were from me, left them at work, found out they were from OW, that is when she went into overdrive and started to find some ridiculous excuse to tell like the parent sending them to her.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I have had quite a few of these too over the last few months, its spooky they are all so similar!! I have had the following and in no particular order
"Our marriage has been a sham from day one". I said what about your post on FB a year and a half ago about how you have been married for a wonderful 8 years and cant wait for the rest of our lives together or me having a vasectomy last year because we didnt want any more kids - apparently this was my idea
"We've tried everything" - I said "what about MC, dating, learning forgiveness?" No comment back.
"Everyone deserves happiness"
Even last night during a discussion my wife said "you didnt do anything for me on valentines", i said you had told me two weeks earlier that you no longer loved me and was leaving and pretty much all of the above, she also said she didnt get me anything because she doesnt love me - she managed to keep a straight face whilst saying all of this
Me: 39 W: 33 Son:7 Daughter:4 Its Over: March 7th 2013 Moved back home Mid June, trying to make it work
