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Originally Posted By: melissag
(((Paul)))

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
thanks M. Same from me to you.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
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It makes sense to me- I don't think you're ready to let her go. I think you really want to be ready, but you aren't. Truly, go to Alanon meetings. They help. They really do.

Hang in there------


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
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Journal. Havi v trouble getting goi g this morning. Getting down again. More snow...another 2 hour delay. Just keep getting pounded by winter this year. Its making jt difficult in the past 2 weeks f o keep my regular gym schdule. I can't do fhat an all of the shovling too. Its jjust more excersise thsn is heslthy. So, shovling it is. After my text exchange with friend, I feel a sense of being foolish or selfish by wanting to stay married when W seems like she clearly doesn't. My firend did not criticize me at all. She jjust stated that it seemed the only viable humane thing to do was to let W go. I am trying. This is hard today


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
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there is no struggle without progress Paul. you are living it so its hard but we can all see the progress. Chin up and all that - the sun will return soon and happiness will be had!

next time when you're shoveling snow why not pretend its a sun shower and have a little dance like no one is looking!


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Me 32 H 32
D 6
S 4
S 11mth

Never allow kindness be misinterpreted for weakness.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
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Originally Posted By: GreyMatter
there is no struggle without progress Paul. you are living it so its hard but we can all see the progress. Chin up and all that - the sun will return soon and happiness will be had!

next time when you're shoveling snow why not pretend its a sun shower and have a little dance like no one is looking!


thanks Grey. I will try.

Originally Posted By: artsy
It makes sense to me- I don't think you're ready to let her go. I think you really want to be ready, but you aren't. Truly, go to Alanon meetings. They help. They really do.

Hang in there------
thanks Artsy. Lots of tears today Not sure why....having a really hard time all of a sudden.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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Don't beat yourself up about where you are in the process, just keep looking forward and surround yourself with things that help you move forward.

Do try AlAnon.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
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Originally Posted By: labug
Don't beat yourself up about where you are in the process, just keep looking forward and surround yourself with things that help you move forward.

Do try AlAnon.
thanks bug. I am trying. Having a hard time today. Maybe I can get some gym time later to burn off some of this.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,656
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Paul,

What you are experiencing is completely normal. Be patient with your sitch and be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. If you have to cry, let it out. Go find a quiet place to spend some alone time.

Hang in there.


Me:45 ExW:48
M:04/97
3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
D-16 S-14
Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
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Originally Posted By: LITB
Paul,

What you are experiencing is completely normal. Be patient with your sitch and be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. If you have to cry, let it out. Go find a quiet place to spend some alone time.

Hang in there.
LT. I was dojng soooo good. Now I'm cycling again. Ugh. Its so frustrating. We have some contact but I think I want tonsee morr to it thsn there is.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,656
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The cycling happens. It takes time to completely overcome the emotions. You are in the midst of learning new habits and behaviors.

Detachment is no joke. It took me nearly 14 months to completely detach. That is when things slowly began to head towards reconciliation. Although things did not work out for us, I can clearly point at milestones that changed the dynamics of my sitch.

So keep working and be cognizant that the bad days are inevitable. They are inevitable, yet temporary.


Me:45 ExW:48
M:04/97
3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
D-16 S-14
Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
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