What happens after the judge asks?

[Dylis]

Due to the title of this forum, I wanted to ask this question here. I'd prefer a response from someone who went through or almost went through their divorce in Florida, you know, due to state laws.

If the court date comes and the judge asks "do you want the divorce?" (Don't know the exact verbiage but I think you know what I mean) What happens or could happen if I say no?

[Cadet]

Florida is a no fault state as are all states in the U.S.

Florida is one of the many states that has abolished fault as a ground for divorce. The only requirement to dissolve your marriage is to prove that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Either spouse can file for the dissolution of marriage. You must prove that a marriage exists, one party has been a Florida resident for six months immediately preceding the filing of the petition, and the marriage is irretrievably broken. Fault, however, may be considered under certain circumstances in the award of alimony, equitable distribution of marital assets and liabilities, and determination of parental responsibility.

Each divorce case is unique and, therefore, results vary from case to case. In each case, the issues are different, which can include the division of property and possessions, responsibility for support, and parental responsibility and time-sharing with children.

The divorce process can be highly emotional and traumatic for the parties as well as the children. Marriage partners often do not know their legal rights and obligations. Court clerks and judges can answer some of your basic questions but are prohibited from giving you legal advice. Only your lawyer can provide legal advice. Statutory requirements and court rules must be strictly followed or you may lose certain rights permanently. The Florida Bar recommends you obtain the services of an attorney concerning legal questions which include discussions regarding your rights in a divorce, your children’s rights, your property rights, and your responsibilities resulting from the marriage. A knowledgeable lawyer can analyze your unique situation and help you make decisions in your best interest and that of your family.

So how are you going to prove that it is not broken when it sounds like your spouse has filed?

I know in my state you can not fight "irretrievably broken".

Have you had a consultation with a lawyer?

[Dylis]

I have had a consultation with a lawyer and his response is that there's nothing I can do about it, for the reasons you mentioned. You can't fight it. But if I say no, can the judge ask us to take mediation, order us to try separation first, or does my no (with a yes from H) have absolutely no value?

[Cadet]

With no-fault it is pretty one sided.

Think counter intuitively.

Maybe the best thing is to agree, you cant stop it anyways.

[Dylis]

Got it Cadet, I think that's what I'm going to do. At least leaning more in that direction. Thanks. I'm ending this thread here and will continue it (if necessary) in my thread in the MLC forum.

[paige40]

In Florida the judge will ask you if counseling would help fix the marriage and if you say yes they will order you to go to counseling. However I don't think much good will come of forcing someone to go to counseling. It does take the both of you to fix the marriage.

[Dylis]

Thank you Paige. I agree with you that forcing someone to take counseling might not do any good. But I want to give it a try anyway because we never tried counseling, not really. We only went to two sessions and he didn't like it. He didn't see the purpose of it. And I don't think he really tried. Of course, having it court ordered doesn't mean he'll really try this time around, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. I would propose IC versus MC first, in hopes that it will do him and me some good and eventually lead to MC. I think he didn't like it before because I was there and that he would have to open up in front of me. He's very afraid of opening up to anyone and everyone. I mean he really starts to panick...sweaty palms, heart racing, etc. It's like a phobia. Thank you again.