HWS, I just wanted to comment on your W’s texts. It seems that she does care, even a little. Also, I see a little bit of pity party (limbo thing). She also kind of lets you know that she might not be living there next year. And about the councilor… She knows she has some issues. So, I don’t know what other people think, but in my opinion she kind of has a door open a little. I might not see something here, but it sa my impression when I read her texts.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thank you BrightFuture, without mindreading or having more hope than I should. I also see the door being open a little. Combined with the little birdie that told me the W is having some issues with the OW, and why she is seeing a counselor and psychologist in the last few months, which started nearly a year after BD. Most people would see them at BD time.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Agree about the mindreading, but this is the only choice we have, all of us on this board with very limited contact with WAS. My guess is that she thought that her M was bad and she thought that a new life with OW would be the solution. Maybe the initial excitement wore out and she is not happy again, this is why a counselor and psychologist are involved.
I liked the comment that Wonka posted, that your W probably wants to see some consistency from you. Also, I’ve noticed that every time you say these “I love you”s she retreats back into her hole. I think you said it enough, she knows that you love her. Maybe you need to stop doing it and let her figure out what she wants. It seems like she’s been trying to do it.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Yes I agree that the "I love you's" do tend to send her back into the hole. I have decided, and yes it took long enough, to stop replying with emotion, but to you use a lot more commonsense and DB approach.
I do think she is finding out little by little, that the grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Wonka, do I send the W the text for her first day at school tomorrow?
"W, hope it is a great school year for you. The kids are lucky to get you as their fantastic teacher. HWA"
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Wonka, with 3 hours to spare, as I wanted it sent before she started class. Thank you, the text will be sent. And with no expectations.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA, that your W is seeing a counselor at all is huge. Mine refused 7 years ago, and refuses now. She's deeply depressed, but won't seek help or even talk about anything.
True Milehigh, but the W seeing the counselor could also be because she is involved with another woman rather than worrying/working out the marriage.
Text reply came back from W two minutes after sending it: Thnx. Hope u hav good day too.
Something I noticed since she started texting the OW, is how her texts are all shortened now. I know that is standing texting, but as teachers the W and I have always spelt the words the correct way when texting.
So Wonka, do you suggest the next text would be around her birthday? It is the 11th March.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
