I'm pretty sure once they work their way through this crises, they will be IMPROVED versions of themselves. All MLC'ers will be... except the few who remain ForeverStuck. Sadly, that does happen to some of 'em.
I just don't know if I can make it that long... but then again, I got no hot dates lined up so what else am I going to do?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Since W has invited you to her little sauna room, it tells me that she's comfortable with appearing naked in front of you instead of sneaking behind your back and dressing in the closet. This would be a good time to dip your toe in the water and do some light physical touches like her arm, back, shoulder. Watch and observe how W reacts. Then adjust accordingly.
Nice going....I think W is slowly re-integrating herself and coming out of the MLC fog.
Interesting for me that I had a big "A" trigger. An employee left the company, and doing the standard forensic on his computer, he had been "playing" while at conventions, with married women, and while his W was pregnant. Ick, just ick. So many broken people.
We are a messed up species. I keep getting them watching TV with my wife. I am not kidding - almost every show has someone cheating on somebody - last night the character made a "have your cake and eat it, too" reference. Barf.
And that brought the past back to mind for a little bit. I need to do a bit more work on me there I think. No anger though, just some sadness and some ptsd feelings.
Be wary of those feelings T2. It seems to me you are starting to feel more comfortable around your W. It wouldn't be too far fetched to think you'll revisit some of those feelings as you open up toward her. I would expect that as she changes (for the better from the sound of it) you will too. It's part of the dance, right?
As for the forum, I think it's wise to unplug for a bit. Come on back in a few months and talk away. But for now, I do think you'll do better without this forum. You'll be missed, but it's a good thing
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
How come what? How come he'll do better without the forum for a while?
If that's the question: I believe he'll do better because he won't be feeling other people's burdens and he won't have other influences and advice in his daily head. Kind of like learning to fly, you train, study and normalize it for a long time but at some point you go out and do without "assistance".
I'm guessing that he'll do better at being him if he doesn't have somebody else to help him second-guess himself. He'll be even more real that way
Make sense? Was that the question you were asking?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
