So you're dating......good for you!

[CallaghanClown]

I've been reading more and more about the pursuit/distance dance. Makes perfect sense. I've been really bored by my H's constant yoyo behaviour and mood swings. So bored that I've not been engaging in it. Now I'm not engaging he's pursuing. I never thought my behaviour was pursuing.....but I guess he did.

I really thought I was concentrating on me, but every time I take a step back I realise I wasn't. But I'm getting there slowly..... Work in progress!!

[job]

CC,
It takes a while to understanding the pursuit/dance, but once you've figured it out, you know what to do. The more you distance yourself and not jump through hoops to be there for him, the more he'll gravitate towards you. Sometimes he will be nice and other times not so nice...but it's all about getting you "hooked" into his drama once again.

It's better to get "there" slowly versus trying to rush there and missing all of the stops along the way that will provide lessons to help you in life.

[Georgiabelle]

I'm just catching up CC and your h sounds like quite attention seeker. I'm sorry your kids have seen such behavior, but all you can do is what you have been doing. You sound like a wonderful mom. It sounds like you are living your life, enjoying your girls, and looking fabulous while you do it. But I know it is difficult.

If it makes you feel any better, I actually want to hurl when I see my h. I always think whoever is dating/involved with him is getting a trainwreck right now.

Have a great Friday:)

[CallaghanClown]

Job I'm always trying to rush everything. I wanted it fixed now......but I'm slowing down. Understanding this is a long long game......one I may pack away before it's complete, but at least I've given it a good try.

Georgiabelle he really really is an attention seeker, always has been......I never know what's going to come next but today he facetime'd the kids while he was naked.......I despair. Yes we'd walk around naked all the time when we were together BUT he knows I have to answer FaceTime for them to speak to him.....

The kids didn't want to speak to him....but I left them to it and they gave him 5 mins of their time then came to find me. Been busy packing for our house move. Selling all the kids old toys and furniture. I'm really excited about moving. New house, new start! I've promised the kids we'll save for a holiday after we have moved and that my next priority is to have for a deposit on a new house for us.

[CallaghanClown]

Looks like the affair is heating up nicely. They've been to a friends party together or at least they've been pictured together. With a lot of our mutual friends there. I don't know what people know and don't know but it hurt. Stung.

I'm trying not to think about it.

He's been texting today about being ill and having to go to hospital. Lots of connections to the past, past illness. I wished him well and said I hope he had someone there to look after him. He said he had nobody to ask, hadn't planned it well etc....... I've not bothered responding, he can deal with his own mess.

Why keep the lie up? Shame, guilt, she's a bandaid? Why humiliate me? Why not tell me before somebody else does? Somebody already has.....but he doesn't know that. It makes me mad. I'm so kind to him, have such empathy for him. Makes me feel like cutting him off. Going no contact. But I don't see that helping my cause.....no decisions need to be made today.

I know I'm the prize. I know my ego is bruised. I need to get rid of that. Who or what he does has no connection to my self esteem. He's damaged, why should that reflect on who I am. I'm not the one jumping into bed with low hanging fruit. I don't need another human being to tell me how great I am, to feel good, I know it in my heart.

I just need to remember it.

[job]

CC,
I'm sorry about what your h has been doing. Yeah, he's sick alright and his ow can take care of him if he's ill.

You are the prize and don't let anyone tell you differently. You've been doing great and I wouldn't allow this little bit of news get you down.

Always remember...you are the prize!

[CallaghanClown]

I just find it so hard not finding it humiliating. These are friends of ours. Friends of my family etc. How could he not warn me? How could he have no respect for the mother of his children, for his children???

Ok I'm getting myself mad now......

He's a coward. I knew that. I didn't need this episode to tell me that. He just so low. So very very low.

I'm the prize. I'm the prize. I'm the prize.

[job]

CC,
Feel the anger and release it. It's acting like a stupid young boy who doesn't think that people talk. Right now, he doesn't care about respect for you or his family. It's all about him and what make him feel good about himself. Little does he know that people do talk and eventually those same people will distance themselves from him, especially if he continues to act out.

Continue saying the mantra "I am the prize".

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks job.

I am the prize. I am the prize. I am the prize.

[Georgiabelle]

CC ,

I'm sorry to hear about your update. I know that must be difficult and your h clearly sounds like a bit of a mess. Yes, you are the prize- wrapped in gorgeous paper and a beautiful bow.

Take care of you and your girls.