I went to the meetup last night, and wow, what an ego boost. I met a really cool woman around my age, who works as an interpreter for the federal courts, for the same law enforcement agency I used to work for. She was really interesting and intelligent and seemed really into me. I'm not sure if I normally would have been attracted to her, but she had lots of personality. She also had her mom along, who asked me questions and then even asked me to come to dinner as they departed mid meetup when we got downtown. I graciously declined and opted to stay with the meetup group, but she told me she wanted to see me again.
I then got talking to another woman at the meetup who is a physician's assistant in the Air Force at a base right near my house. She was very intelligent, and laughed at my corny jokes. She also called me out on things, but not in a bad way. We all ended up going to a great burger joint at the end of the night, and had some great burgers and a jovial time.
It was such a refreshing evening. GAL sure does help the psyche. Then I watched church this morning online however, and was a blubbering crying mess. Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions. I also woke up to two messages from girls on some dating sites I joined. Things seem to be pointing in a positive direction socially. I'm just practicing what I've learned here on asking questions, listening and validating when possible even with people that aren't W. What skills to have obtained!
Anyway, I'm working out today, going to wash/wax the car since it's been months since that has been done last. One more day of work and then I have two days off while my parents arrive! We are planning to go to a Christmas Eve service, and actually going on a Christmas morning hike with my favorite meetup group. It is an alternative Christmas activity, I know I will probably be emotional that day. But I'll be taking the family and dog Kahlua to that hike and it'll be great!
I will keep all of my DB family in my prayers as we all navigate through the holidays with torn up emotions! Thank you for all your love and support, even though we have never met!
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Its funny you say you're using your new skills with the new ladies you are meeting.... I sometimes think if I dont start using what ive learned I will forget it all. That must be nice to have that boost of someone being interested in you, but i think its good you've declined for now. I dont know what i'd do if someone approached me, probably cry lol.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Yeah, I'm really torn on whether to pursue hanging out with any of them or not. I met another girl today that is in dental school and chatted with her for awhile. I complimented her, told her how delightful it was to chat, and said we should go to the dueling piano bar in town sometime that we got talking about. I had asked her a bunch of open ended questions and acknowledged what she had said and asked follow-ups on things. Wow everything really worked, without asking, she gave me her number.
I am kind of like the dog chasing trucks right now, I wouldn't know what to do with them if I caught them. It's just interesting to talk to other women at this point, seeing what I have been doing wrong for a long time.
Anyway, I hope you've got plans for Christmas and that you're staying busy right now! I'm sure there are lots of people interested in you, or would be if they knew what we get to see in terms of your personal growth here.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Just got the following email from the W- will definitely need your help on how to respond.
"I am surprised you were not more concerned about my safety with the car breaking down on me. It has left me in a quite a predicament considering I drive at least 50 miles a day to and from work.
You're tone regarding the house came off as condescending, I hope it was not meant that way. I have worked tirelessly to figure out the best way to split up our finances and assets. Your income potential is much greater than mine and will continue to grow in that manner. I am not asking for any spousal support or pushing to get any more than what I will need to survive on a Seaworld salary. I am having to look into getting a second job now due to needing a car much sooner than expected. I was hoping the Focus would last a few more months, not less than a week. You keeping your financial assets (401K, IRA, and Roth) and me refinancing the house was the best way to split everything. This will also give me a start at rebuilding my life on a much smaller income.
My attorney will be sending the final decree to your attorney today for review. I have looked over it many times and sought legal and Christian counsel throughout this whole process. Please know I have done everything I can to make this an appropriate division, including accomodating all of your requests in this process (more time in signing the original petition, communicating with each other versus through attorneys, switching cars prior to final decree, and remaining civil throughout).
It saddens me that all of this is happening throughout the holidays and taking away from the celebration of this season. I would like to have things in order and finalized before the end of the year so we can both have a fresh start in 2014.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
She's responding from an emotional place. Some WASs still believe the person they're Ding should continue to act like a spouse in certain circumstances. She certainly got a few jabs in there, didn't she? I know that hurts.
The D was her choice.
I see no questions that require a response. What are you thinking you want to say?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
She's responding from an emotional place. Some WASs still believe the person they're Ding should continue to act like a spouse in certain circumstances. She certainly got a few jabs in there, didn't she? I know that hurts.
The D was her choice.
I see no questions that require a response. What are you thinking you want to say?
What I want to say back is this-
You sent me a brutally honest email, and I guess now it’s my turn.
You left me and filed for divorce, we are not married anymore, I don’t have to be concerned for your safety. Your predicament regarding an inoperable vehicle is your problem.
You have the same earning potential as I do, you CHOOSE to work at a low-paying job. That’s your prerogative. We both have Bachelor Degree’s in Liberal Arts.
You are not eligible for spousal support as we were not together for over 10 years.
You have decided on division of assets without talking to me how to divide anything? While I appreciate your diligence and hardwork, you never once asked for my thoughts on how to divide things.
There is no way we are near a final decree, WE have not decided on anything. You decided on everything and what was “best financially” for both of us, What would your reaction have been if I had done the same and just sent you what I decided on a division of property?
But of course I wont send that.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
I am sort of speechless, I will have to see what the divorce decree says. We did not decide on any furniture, property, anything. She refused to talk about any of it and just decides? Unbelievable!
BE MY HUSBAND BUT DONT BE MY HUSBAND in the same email.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
give it 48 hours, see how you feel.
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