After moving out on 9/6. My wife finally agreed to come home and spend a night as a trial. We were both excited & I bought flowers, wine, and filet mignons.
We had an excellent dinner but I kept on drinking wine while she showered & got ready for bed.
Once in bed, I tried to initiate sex but she balked & said she wasn't ready.
In my inebriated state, I got deeply hurt & angry and did my usual regressive behavior of withdrawing and going to lay on the bed in the guest bedroom.
She came downstairs and tried to talk to me but I was incoherent & mumbled something about repairing the lawnmower.
So she left.
And I lashed-out with mean-spirited texts, and stopped her ATM card. My usual 2-year-old toddler tantrum when I am in this state.
I've repaired most of the damage I think, but it [censored] as my heart was in the right place but I didn't control my alcohol. I definitely lost credibility.
I told her I won't drink when she's around, and I will respect her wish to take things slowly.
We have a counseling session on Monday, but I feel terrible for screwing-up. I've been struggling with alcohol for a while now, so I dumped all my booze out in the woods tonight.
One step forward, two-steps back. The exact same situation occurred the night she left in September. I was drunk, felt rejected by her & lost control of my emotions & ability to think.
Me: 46 Ex: 38 Married: 10 Together: 12 No Children Separated (again): 09/06/13 Divorced: 02/27/15
Show her through actions how you are going to stop drinking. You need to quit. I am an alcoholic, you need to admit this to yourself also and join an AA group in your area for support and working through the 12 steps.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
