I know you want everyone to be happy and have a nice life. Unfortunately, we dont have any control of all of that.
Family is important, Nero. I'm sorry. I know it is hard to realize stuff about our family. I have come to learn that people love the best way they know how, based on what they know. Sometimes they fall short. But, there isnt anything we can do about that.
I know it is hard to get our minds around it. That we were wrong in what we thought. Takes some time to get to acceptance of it all.
You have some tough times ahead of you. I wouldnt worry about figuring out all that stuff now. Plenty of time for that.
When you are ready though, you do need to figure out who you want in your life. Life is too short to have people in it that dont accept who you are.
It is sad to see how family acts during times like these.
It would be nice to be able to save people from their lives. But thats not the way it works so we just do the best we can.
You will get through it all. You have no other choice, really. Remember to take care of you during it all. And to not allow others to make you feel badly.
Hi Nero, was wondering about you. At times I feel the same. Same old story.... I had a chuckle at the fantasy island( FL vs NJ.) sad but true, I guess we laugh to keep from crying. Wish I could make up my mind. was just reading Rosalinda. She says you know when you know...I want that clear absolute signal. I am good. studying hard . hanging in.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
just checking in. my mom passed away friday- funeral and burial were over yesterday. thank goodness - it' s hard as heck
brain & heart empty at the moment. it's a wierd floatie kind of place to be. waay better than intense pain i know- whatever our r got to be- as she was dying allll my recollections sped right back to a place and time and mom that were "the good times" before old old age & anger,& pain, etc. took ovetr. it was an unfairly cruel end- cancer- HOWEVER, thank goodness for hospice and drugs - no kidding. i kept thinking that my mom took care of my dad thru his death in same circumstancesw but ALL ON HER OWN - even that one thing i guess entitled you to get a bit harder than you'd like in life.
oh well huh? oddly - my other sisters were all hooked to the bedside when she had ceased to be able to be aware at all, honestly, my gut & heart felt she was not "there" anymore. just a body trying to die - i felt sure her spirit/soul (whatever one wants to call it)had left already. sounds goopie maybe- but honestly i felt it. i wonder if it's because of feeling like no unfinished business.
So- God is kind i guess in that.
i guess since i have the luxury of being a giant "lump" i'll take it for today and hope i clean up the garden and keep busy in that way.
it was allll sad - just no good slant to put on it - oops - call from my older sister about will, house, etc- oh man- real life encrouches no matter what huh?
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. My prayers are with you.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
nero, I'm very sorry to read that your mother passed away. Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
