My aim this time is to focus so much more on me. My improvements and my moving on. Only 38 days before I find out if I am going to transfer back to the city, then only 12 weeks later I would be moving back. Originally I was so worried about leaving my W and my mind was so mixed up about whether I should take this step or not. Now I know, I do need to take this step. I need to do this for me.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Didn't hurt me as bad today, but still hurts. I found a newsletter that is put out by my W's school. This is a fortnightly publication. Anyway the W writes up about her class and now signs it as Miss Hotwheelsaust, rather than Mrs. It hurts but not as bad as it might have a few months ago.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
2old, yes time does help. Time to think about yourself and how much longer you are going to put up with this crap. I still love and care very much for my W, and probably will for a long time. But I have to draw a line somewhere that I say "enough is enough". If there is no discussion, no talking, no form of communicating and on the occasionally see each other in the street, she runs away, then what is still left? Nothing.
I understand this and reading through your thread has helped change my mindset to better understand what is going on in my own journey. You seem to be growing a lot as a person through your experience, and gaining a lot of insight.
I do think there comes a point where you decide 'enough is enough'. As I stay in my relationship that day draws nearer. Things seem to be getting worse before better. My H is distant, cold, silent and snappy at me. He no longer shows me affection, unless we are ML. I have a lot of emotional stress/anxiety over what is going on between us.
At my last IC appointment I was advised to set a 'personal boundary', a timeline in which I thought I could reasonably handle living in 'limbo' without anything changing or getting better. A person can only take so much. The thing that throws us off every so often is when they start to act nicer for a few days and you wonder if things are changing.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Well I have now been defriended by W and SIL. Funny that nothing has been said for weeks and now this happens. Oh well.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
And also the supposed best friend. Something has gone down, I wonder what happened for all of them to delete me?
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I was defriended by my W and her family recently. No reason why, I have been friendly with them. Its hard to be rejected by the people you care about. Im thinking she don't want me to know who she is meeting online. It has made it easier for me not seeing her updates on the feeds. I do miss the updates on what the kids are up to.
Great choice on focusing on yourself. Easier said than done.
Best of luck on your transfer! Sometimes a change of scenery makes a world of difference.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
To me that is not strange. My cousin's ex just recently unfriended me on FB. My cousin sent a note out on facebook (to everyone) that her ex would be unfriending a lot of her family, and they are also unfriending each other on FB. It probably comes to a point where it becomes awkward if you remain friends on FB.
If my H and I were to separate, I would de-friend him and probably a lot of his family, as it would be too difficult for me to keep get updates on his new life. It would not be personal, or anything against them, but for my own reasons. I love my H's family and I am actually sad that I might lose the connection that I currently have with them.
I would not worry about it too much hotwheelsaust.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
I unfriended my BIL, SIL and H's cousin shortly after BD. Still friends with H, but I've limited the news feed so I don't see all of his posts. Main reason is that txt and FB messaging is pretty well the only way H communicates with me these days, and because of S13 we do still need to have some contact.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Not really worrying too much about the W and SIL. The friend though is a different story. That one has me worried, the reason why? He has been beside me for a lot of this sitch (sometimes good, sometimes not so good), but to defriend means something has been said to him that he doesn't like. I can comfortably say I haven't said anything to worry about. The only worry is: the tattoo picture has come back to bite me. Not that is should. If someone has an issue with it, then they need to talk about it. Anyway time will tell. I will try to ring and chat with him today. This is the hard thing about our sitch's, the feeling that you are out of the family/friend loop. The feeling everyone else seems to know everything going on, except us. I do know it's not important in the big scheme of things, but, I was looking forward to going back to the city and spending time with this friend.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
